Let's just get things out in the open real quick, okay?
I love sweets. And when I say love sweets, I mean that, well... yes, I could "marry them" as Bekah would say.
So, Saturday, I had an Econ final down at IUPUI. I only missed 3 on my mid-term, so when I went to my study session the week before, I was feeling pretty confident that I would be alright on the final.
Until the instructor told us that the class average was about 52%.
Fudge.
So, I studied and studied. For the most part, Economics makes sense to me and I enjoy learning about it. Surely, I can pass the final.
I'd done pretty well in the class with homeworks and such, so even if I bombed the final, I knew I could still pass the class, however "just passing" isn't good enough for me, I want an A.
I left the final study session feeling a bit inspired, but not completely because time ran out and our prof wasn't able to give us the last 4 chapters of study information for the final. Ugh. But I went ahead and reviewed the info all week and decided that if I wasn't prepared by Friday, there's nothing more I would learn, so I took Friday off from Studying and enjoyed an evening with my guy for his birthday.
Saturday morning, I planned to meet a couple of my classmates on campus early to study. On the way there, I had some extra time and was feeling very nervous.
What better to ease my worries than sweets.
I should probably preface by making a couple of side points here:
1.)I am not a worrier over my weight. Sure, I'd love to be the 130 that my driver's license says I am. But I'm not. After I went on the Breast-feeding diet in 2004 and ended up at a not-so-healthy 118 pounds by the time she was 1, I decided that there is just no reason to stress about weight. If my weight is what makes me happy, then I need to find another hobby. Now... on the flip side, I do enjoy doing Zumba and jogging the neighborhood in the summer because it makes me feel good. But not to lose weight. If the pounds go away, great. If not, that's fine too. I am me, and if you don't like me because I have a few stretch-marks, saggy tummy skin from having 2 babies and hips that don't lie... then go find a new friend out of a magazine cuz this girl ain't her. Got it?
2.) I'm not the type of person to run out and "lose a bunch of weight before (fill in the blank). I'm just not. Why starve myself or change my routine just to "look better" for whatever event is coming up. Again, if you don't like how i look, don't come see me!
Ok, so anyway - back to the sweets and stress.
As I was driving down I-69 to IUPUI, you will not believe it...
My car literally directed itself off the exit ramp at Exit 10 and turned left toward Olio Road. Before I knew it, I was pulling into Pat-A-Cakes and Cookies too!
And since I was there.... I went ahead and ordered 4 mini cupcakes and 2 cake-ball-bon-bons.
Yes I did.
And on the way to my final, Christmas confetti, extra icing and all, were landing all over my lap and the floor of my car. There was simply no graceful way to eat the cupcakes, but I had to. I simply had to.
Now, in my defense, I was beginning to feel a bit of a sugar coma after 2 of the cupcakes and 1 bon-bon, so I stopped. Well, and I started to feel a bit guilty about having to purchase a new wardrobe if I continued this eating pattern.
But whatever.
I got to school, got some studying done and took the dreaded final.
All I have to say is this...
I did as crappy as I feared that I would, but I still passed the class and got the credits. I cannot make myself sick over the grade, I can only accept what it is and move on to the next semester ready to roll.
On that note, I think I'll eat another cupcake :)
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
My Thoughts on Christmas
With Christmas just a week away, I couldn't help but reflect on some of the different views on Christmas and the Traditions that many families have regarding this Religious Holiday. I will warn you, this post could end up going a variety of paths similiar to the thought process of an individual with A.D.D.
...you've been warned.
Please buckle up and keep all arms and legs inside the moving vehicle for the duration of the ride.
You adventure is about to begin.
So, Christmas. The day that is celebrated that Jesus was born. Some may argue with evidence that Jesus was not born on December 25th, but rather a different time of the year. Regardless of when He was born, December 25th is the day that we CELEBRATE his birth. Nothing else. Just the gift of his birth. Now, I'm not clear on how Santa Claus got involved, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't in the Manger when Jesus was born. However, on the controversial topic of Santa, in our house, we believe.
Chas is 11 and Bek is 7; and they both still believe. I can contribute that to a number of things, perhaps naivity, my creativity with keeping the spirit alive, or just some of the traditions we've done at my house to keep them from questioning the 'reality' of Santa. I think believing in Santa can be good and bad, especially for those gung-ho Christians who believe that the Commercializing of Christmas is too much.
I read an article my friend Lindsey sent a few weeks ago that summed up the reason "we believe" in my house; it's not so much about believing in Santa as it is believing in something that you cannot see.
I believe in God, but I cannot see Him.
I believe in Love, but I cannot touch it.
I believe in Prayer, but I cannot hand it to you.
I believe in Happiness, but I cannot taste it.
and...
We believe in Santa, though we cannot see him.
I will tell you, things in my house get a little crazy around the holidays. Much to my desire to keep the "Magic of Christmas" alive for my children for as long as humanly possible. Several years ago, I thought my son might be 'on to' the situation with Santa, so I searched high and low for the little Red Elf that travels to the North Pole each night to tell Santa how everyone has been acting. Low and Behold, one day "Elfis" showed up at our tiny apartment and has been creating the sweetest memories for my children ever since.
I can't help it. I just think about, say 20 years from now, when my children are parents, the stories they will tell my grandchildren about that crazy little Elf that used to hide and do naughty things in our house. The same little Elf that will continue to make his fun little holiday appearance at "Grandma's House" in the future. What joy that will bring me to hear them re-tell stories about a little stuffed Elf that delivered an abundance of happiness and excitement as children.
"How does he get to the North Pole, Mommy?" ... I don't know, you just have to believe....
"How did he get into that small space, Mommy?" ... I don't know, you just have to believe...
You just have to believe.
In life, you just have to believe.
You have to believe that in the hard times, you'll make it through.
You have to believe that everything, good and bad happens for a reason, whether you know it or not.
You have to believe that there is more to life than what is lying right in front of you...
...you just have to believe.
So, that's why I encourage my children to believe in Santa. And maybe too, because I enjoy it also!
Santa has his own wrapping paper that is stored in the attic in a hidden spot an the kids never see it. I think this has helped (me) to keep the spirit alive.
All my kids gifts are swiftly placed in the attic, and wrapped in the special paper when my kids are gone, this allows for no chance that they will wake up and hear me wrapping, see the gifts hidden in my closet, etc. Santa also buys a few gifts for Mommy.... if Mommy acts surprised on Christmas morning by the new waffle maker, who else would've brought it but Santa?
When we lived in a house that didn't have a fireplace, we left a Pewter Santa Key on our front door so he could get into our house... allowing very little opportunity for their imaginations to take them somewhere that I didn't have an answer.
I grew up with Christmases like no other. I was raised an only child, and was so, so blessed on Christmas morning; more than necessary. And i've always tried to do the same for my children. I'm not sure whether that is good or bad, but the thrill of waking up Christmas morning to a plethora of gifts that Santa had dropped off was such a rush.
Best memories ever.
Many people are going to the 3 gift theory for the holidays, which I strongly support, especially after adding up receipts for my purchases throughout the season. 3 gifts just like Jesus received. Novel Concept.
I read another family that does, "Something you WANT, something you NEED, something you can WEAR, and something to READ." That's another fabulous idea too.
And I was a bit jealous this weekend as i was making out my list of things I'd bought the kids, to make sure their lists were equal gift numbers... it would be so much easier if I adopted the 3 or 4 gift rule.
My kids are so lucky. So, so lucky.
Or Spoiled.
Whichever you prefer.
And to be honest, with the exception of the 'feeling' and 'excitement' i had as a child on Christmas morning, I don't even really remember the gifts.
It's not about the gifts though.
Some of the best 'gifts' in life aren't about the things our parents bought for us.
It's about the experiences.
The traditions.
The goodtimes... and some of the bad times too.
The way we felt loved.
I alternate Christmas Morning every other year; and my children go with their dad. Is it tough to be alone on Christmas morning? Absolutely. But I don't think I'm any better than their dad to 'steal' that experience from him.
On the years that I have my kids on Christmas morning, the three of us bake goodies during the evening on Christmas Eve and then drive the stuff to the State Police Post and Paid Fire Stations in Anderson to let those on duty know that we are thinking about them and appreciate what they do.
Chas and Bek remember this every.single.year.
They have never said to me, "remember last year when you got me that super cool ________ (fill in the blank)."
Never.
They always remember baking a Jesus Birthday Cake, dropping off goodies at the Police Station and saying Goodbye to Elfis.
Sweet, sweet traditions.
If there was to be a Mom of the Year award, I would certainly not win it. This post omitted the many, many times that I have yelled... cried.... been so frustrated I could've just walked away from it all.
But if there was anyone, that has tried so hard to make her kids' lives rich with memories, and live beyond the circumstances that I have given them, it would be me.
So yes, we believe in the Magic of Christmas. My kids are reminded through myself and Church services about the true meaning of Christmas too.
...you've been warned.
Please buckle up and keep all arms and legs inside the moving vehicle for the duration of the ride.
You adventure is about to begin.
So, Christmas. The day that is celebrated that Jesus was born. Some may argue with evidence that Jesus was not born on December 25th, but rather a different time of the year. Regardless of when He was born, December 25th is the day that we CELEBRATE his birth. Nothing else. Just the gift of his birth. Now, I'm not clear on how Santa Claus got involved, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't in the Manger when Jesus was born. However, on the controversial topic of Santa, in our house, we believe.
Chas is 11 and Bek is 7; and they both still believe. I can contribute that to a number of things, perhaps naivity, my creativity with keeping the spirit alive, or just some of the traditions we've done at my house to keep them from questioning the 'reality' of Santa. I think believing in Santa can be good and bad, especially for those gung-ho Christians who believe that the Commercializing of Christmas is too much.
I read an article my friend Lindsey sent a few weeks ago that summed up the reason "we believe" in my house; it's not so much about believing in Santa as it is believing in something that you cannot see.
I believe in God, but I cannot see Him.
I believe in Love, but I cannot touch it.
I believe in Prayer, but I cannot hand it to you.
I believe in Happiness, but I cannot taste it.
and...
We believe in Santa, though we cannot see him.
I will tell you, things in my house get a little crazy around the holidays. Much to my desire to keep the "Magic of Christmas" alive for my children for as long as humanly possible. Several years ago, I thought my son might be 'on to' the situation with Santa, so I searched high and low for the little Red Elf that travels to the North Pole each night to tell Santa how everyone has been acting. Low and Behold, one day "Elfis" showed up at our tiny apartment and has been creating the sweetest memories for my children ever since.
I can't help it. I just think about, say 20 years from now, when my children are parents, the stories they will tell my grandchildren about that crazy little Elf that used to hide and do naughty things in our house. The same little Elf that will continue to make his fun little holiday appearance at "Grandma's House" in the future. What joy that will bring me to hear them re-tell stories about a little stuffed Elf that delivered an abundance of happiness and excitement as children.
"How does he get to the North Pole, Mommy?" ... I don't know, you just have to believe....
"How did he get into that small space, Mommy?" ... I don't know, you just have to believe...
You just have to believe.
In life, you just have to believe.
You have to believe that in the hard times, you'll make it through.
You have to believe that everything, good and bad happens for a reason, whether you know it or not.
You have to believe that there is more to life than what is lying right in front of you...
...you just have to believe.
So, that's why I encourage my children to believe in Santa. And maybe too, because I enjoy it also!
Santa has his own wrapping paper that is stored in the attic in a hidden spot an the kids never see it. I think this has helped (me) to keep the spirit alive.
All my kids gifts are swiftly placed in the attic, and wrapped in the special paper when my kids are gone, this allows for no chance that they will wake up and hear me wrapping, see the gifts hidden in my closet, etc. Santa also buys a few gifts for Mommy.... if Mommy acts surprised on Christmas morning by the new waffle maker, who else would've brought it but Santa?
When we lived in a house that didn't have a fireplace, we left a Pewter Santa Key on our front door so he could get into our house... allowing very little opportunity for their imaginations to take them somewhere that I didn't have an answer.
I grew up with Christmases like no other. I was raised an only child, and was so, so blessed on Christmas morning; more than necessary. And i've always tried to do the same for my children. I'm not sure whether that is good or bad, but the thrill of waking up Christmas morning to a plethora of gifts that Santa had dropped off was such a rush.
Best memories ever.
Many people are going to the 3 gift theory for the holidays, which I strongly support, especially after adding up receipts for my purchases throughout the season. 3 gifts just like Jesus received. Novel Concept.
I read another family that does, "Something you WANT, something you NEED, something you can WEAR, and something to READ." That's another fabulous idea too.
And I was a bit jealous this weekend as i was making out my list of things I'd bought the kids, to make sure their lists were equal gift numbers... it would be so much easier if I adopted the 3 or 4 gift rule.
My kids are so lucky. So, so lucky.
Or Spoiled.
Whichever you prefer.
And to be honest, with the exception of the 'feeling' and 'excitement' i had as a child on Christmas morning, I don't even really remember the gifts.
It's not about the gifts though.
Some of the best 'gifts' in life aren't about the things our parents bought for us.
It's about the experiences.
The traditions.
The goodtimes... and some of the bad times too.
The way we felt loved.
I alternate Christmas Morning every other year; and my children go with their dad. Is it tough to be alone on Christmas morning? Absolutely. But I don't think I'm any better than their dad to 'steal' that experience from him.
On the years that I have my kids on Christmas morning, the three of us bake goodies during the evening on Christmas Eve and then drive the stuff to the State Police Post and Paid Fire Stations in Anderson to let those on duty know that we are thinking about them and appreciate what they do.
Chas and Bek remember this every.single.year.
They have never said to me, "remember last year when you got me that super cool ________ (fill in the blank)."
Never.
They always remember baking a Jesus Birthday Cake, dropping off goodies at the Police Station and saying Goodbye to Elfis.
Sweet, sweet traditions.
If there was to be a Mom of the Year award, I would certainly not win it. This post omitted the many, many times that I have yelled... cried.... been so frustrated I could've just walked away from it all.
But if there was anyone, that has tried so hard to make her kids' lives rich with memories, and live beyond the circumstances that I have given them, it would be me.
So yes, we believe in the Magic of Christmas. My kids are reminded through myself and Church services about the true meaning of Christmas too.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Holiday Insanity
Tis the Season, right?
In the spirit of Christmas insanity, I'd like to share a few of my ... "issues".
By issues, I mean rather insignificant things that may or may not cause others to think I am a bit insane, crazy, unstable or just generally obnoxious.
We all have them, right? (please say yes!) ... those ridiculous triggers that cause us to have an increased pulse rate and blood pressure.
So here goes...
1.) If I have too many thoughts to organize in an email, I have to number them. If I've ever emailed you about more than 3 topics, chances are... I've numbered my thoughts. Rest assured, it's not only for your benefit, but mine as well. There is some weird thing in my head that causes me to do that. I believe it's because, in normal writing, you separate your thoughts by paragraphs. When I'm writing an email that has EXTREMELY varying topics, I cannot write appropriate lead and ending sentences to guide my paragraphs to flow smoothly. With that being said, I now feel challenged to do so. If you'd like to receive what will inevitably turn out to be an amusing email with transition and segway sentences that are forced and uncomfortable, shoot me a personal email on a variety of subjects and I'll respond. Or, just wait for me to email you someday about random things and i'll try to remember. Either way, I have issues with writing and thought organization.
2.) When it comes to wrapping gifts, whether it be Christmas, Birthday, Mother's Day, etc... I prefer to wrap gifts in boxes instead of gift bags. Gift bags are far easier, but I think a lot of people deep down really want to open wrapping paper presents. So, I try to accomodate. My issues come in to play with the way I wrap gifts. So, my boxed gifts cannot have seams in the paper anywhere but the ends. There is a certain method to wrapping gifts where there is no seam and the paper meets perfectly at the edge of the box. It will drive me literally insane to even try to wrap a gift without following the specified method. And the sad thing, literally no one notices my wrapping except me. No one cares!!
3.) Color Coordination. My Christmas trees have been color coordinated for as long as I can remember. Nothing against people who have meaningful ornaments that make their tree special, honestly - i love those kinds of trees. But my trees, have to match from top to bottom. It is stupid!! And the wrapping paper under each tree also has to match. The front living room tree has gifts for people that are not our family. They are wrapped in red/white/black to match that tree. The Family Room tree is for gifts for my immediate family and they are wrapped in more teals, pinks, blues, purples, etc to match the tree in that room. I cannot even begin to process how I would feel if a red gift showed up under the back room tree. I get nervous even thinking about it.
4.) Personal Space. There is about a 5 foot invisible circle that surrounds me at all times. I cannot stand when people invade my personal space for more than a few seconds (hug, kiss, etc) unless I initiate that contact. Talking right in my face? OMG. BONKERS. Standing too close, or trying to stand in that bubble? No. Step Back 'foo. Breathing on me, over me, or too close to me? AHHHHH! I cannot handle it! No idea why, but there is a bubble and y'all better not pop it!
5.) Food and Clothing Textures. Corduroy and Velvet... YUCK. I cannot .... literally cannot handle touching it. I have no idea why, but it gives me the shivers. Eww. No. As far as food textures, I don't like anything slimy. Not a huge fan of Yogurt, Escargot, etc - because they are too slimy. Squid Jerky? Yea, not for me. I'm sure there are a myriad of other things that i cannot handle, but those are the first that come to mind.
And I think that's it for now. If i think of some more issues that I have, I'll be sure to let you know. I think it's only fair that as my dearest friends and blog readers, you should be warned.
...'tis the Season, eh?
In the spirit of Christmas insanity, I'd like to share a few of my ... "issues".
By issues, I mean rather insignificant things that may or may not cause others to think I am a bit insane, crazy, unstable or just generally obnoxious.
We all have them, right? (please say yes!) ... those ridiculous triggers that cause us to have an increased pulse rate and blood pressure.
So here goes...
1.) If I have too many thoughts to organize in an email, I have to number them. If I've ever emailed you about more than 3 topics, chances are... I've numbered my thoughts. Rest assured, it's not only for your benefit, but mine as well. There is some weird thing in my head that causes me to do that. I believe it's because, in normal writing, you separate your thoughts by paragraphs. When I'm writing an email that has EXTREMELY varying topics, I cannot write appropriate lead and ending sentences to guide my paragraphs to flow smoothly. With that being said, I now feel challenged to do so. If you'd like to receive what will inevitably turn out to be an amusing email with transition and segway sentences that are forced and uncomfortable, shoot me a personal email on a variety of subjects and I'll respond. Or, just wait for me to email you someday about random things and i'll try to remember. Either way, I have issues with writing and thought organization.
2.) When it comes to wrapping gifts, whether it be Christmas, Birthday, Mother's Day, etc... I prefer to wrap gifts in boxes instead of gift bags. Gift bags are far easier, but I think a lot of people deep down really want to open wrapping paper presents. So, I try to accomodate. My issues come in to play with the way I wrap gifts. So, my boxed gifts cannot have seams in the paper anywhere but the ends. There is a certain method to wrapping gifts where there is no seam and the paper meets perfectly at the edge of the box. It will drive me literally insane to even try to wrap a gift without following the specified method. And the sad thing, literally no one notices my wrapping except me. No one cares!!
3.) Color Coordination. My Christmas trees have been color coordinated for as long as I can remember. Nothing against people who have meaningful ornaments that make their tree special, honestly - i love those kinds of trees. But my trees, have to match from top to bottom. It is stupid!! And the wrapping paper under each tree also has to match. The front living room tree has gifts for people that are not our family. They are wrapped in red/white/black to match that tree. The Family Room tree is for gifts for my immediate family and they are wrapped in more teals, pinks, blues, purples, etc to match the tree in that room. I cannot even begin to process how I would feel if a red gift showed up under the back room tree. I get nervous even thinking about it.
4.) Personal Space. There is about a 5 foot invisible circle that surrounds me at all times. I cannot stand when people invade my personal space for more than a few seconds (hug, kiss, etc) unless I initiate that contact. Talking right in my face? OMG. BONKERS. Standing too close, or trying to stand in that bubble? No. Step Back 'foo. Breathing on me, over me, or too close to me? AHHHHH! I cannot handle it! No idea why, but there is a bubble and y'all better not pop it!
5.) Food and Clothing Textures. Corduroy and Velvet... YUCK. I cannot .... literally cannot handle touching it. I have no idea why, but it gives me the shivers. Eww. No. As far as food textures, I don't like anything slimy. Not a huge fan of Yogurt, Escargot, etc - because they are too slimy. Squid Jerky? Yea, not for me. I'm sure there are a myriad of other things that i cannot handle, but those are the first that come to mind.
And I think that's it for now. If i think of some more issues that I have, I'll be sure to let you know. I think it's only fair that as my dearest friends and blog readers, you should be warned.
...'tis the Season, eh?
Monday, December 5, 2011
Nashville
The last few days have been so nice to be away from home and enjoying time with my honey. A while ago, he asked me if I wanted to go to his Christmas party in Nashville, Tennessee. I was so excited because it happened to be on a weekend when I actually had no kids and no other plans. BONUS!
We found out a couple of weeks ago, that he had a meeting at his Nashville office on Thursday, and would have to drive down on Wednesday. Since I didn't want to have to make arrangements for that many days away from my kids, I went ahead and found a one-way ticket to Nashville for less than $100. It probably would've cost more in gas and then had to drive two cars back, so for about $80, I booked the flight!
He picked me up from the airport at about 4:30 and we headed to dinner together. We decided on a restaurant called 'Cheddars', since there are none in our area, but quickly learned that "Cheddars" had nothing on the menu relating to Cheddar Cheese, as we'd suspected.
Fear not, dinner was good despite the lack of Cheddar and the company was fantastic after being on a plane and in airports for almost 6 hours!
Friday we both worked for a few hours in the morning and then headed out to take a walking tour of downtown Nashville. We ate at Jack's BBQ, which was right on the "strip" and walked it off around downtown, checking out the fun stores, looking in the windows of some of the famous bars and walking down "Printer's Alley", stopping along the way to take random and fun photographs!
On our way home, we took the scenic route and enjoyed the Tenneessee country roads and 'nice' homes in the area. We also looked diligently for a nice Chevette that might be for sale, in order to fufill my dreams of ownng a 'vette.
I was intrigued by the cotton fields and felt it necessary to ask Joe to pull the car over on the side of the road so I could steal a cotton plant right out of the field.
don't worry - i'm not going to become a cotton Gin (hahah!) ... and start making my own clothes, just intrigued by the plant.
Unfortunately, our search for Super Famous Stars in Nashville and Rockin' Chevettes in the country was unsuccessful for the two of us, so we returned to our hotel to get ready for the Christmas Party.
That night we attended Joe's company Christmas party downstairs at our hotel and had a really good time! I was able to meet several of the people that he works with and after a few drinks, he had the courage to hit the dance floor for a couple of songs.
Saturday we got up early, ate breakfast at the hotel and headed towards Indiana. All was well until I decided I should go ahead and make a fool out of myself by vomiting in the car on the ride home.
Lucky for my driver... i had a plastic bag available to catch the .... well.... puke... so there was minimal clean up in the car.
Let me tell you... he handled it like a champ.
Pulled the car over at the nearest Classy Truck Stop Trashcan so I could finish puking like I was getting paid to do it. Then, into the truck stop I went to clean myself up and brush my teeth.
God love him. I know it was just nasty. But he was so good about it.
And i mean, what's hotter than a chick puking for no reason while you're driving 5 hours home.
...ok, don't answer that :)
Saturday evening, I hung out with he and his little boy and we had a good time. Sunday, I laid in bed sick all day and got my kiddos back that evening.
Outside of my Gastroentestinal track's decision to act like a fool for the past 2 days, my weekend was great!!
It was so nice to get away from home and enjoy time with my guy!
We found out a couple of weeks ago, that he had a meeting at his Nashville office on Thursday, and would have to drive down on Wednesday. Since I didn't want to have to make arrangements for that many days away from my kids, I went ahead and found a one-way ticket to Nashville for less than $100. It probably would've cost more in gas and then had to drive two cars back, so for about $80, I booked the flight!
He picked me up from the airport at about 4:30 and we headed to dinner together. We decided on a restaurant called 'Cheddars', since there are none in our area, but quickly learned that "Cheddars" had nothing on the menu relating to Cheddar Cheese, as we'd suspected.
Fear not, dinner was good despite the lack of Cheddar and the company was fantastic after being on a plane and in airports for almost 6 hours!
Friday we both worked for a few hours in the morning and then headed out to take a walking tour of downtown Nashville. We ate at Jack's BBQ, which was right on the "strip" and walked it off around downtown, checking out the fun stores, looking in the windows of some of the famous bars and walking down "Printer's Alley", stopping along the way to take random and fun photographs!
On our way home, we took the scenic route and enjoyed the Tenneessee country roads and 'nice' homes in the area. We also looked diligently for a nice Chevette that might be for sale, in order to fufill my dreams of ownng a 'vette.
I was intrigued by the cotton fields and felt it necessary to ask Joe to pull the car over on the side of the road so I could steal a cotton plant right out of the field.
don't worry - i'm not going to become a cotton Gin (hahah!) ... and start making my own clothes, just intrigued by the plant.
Unfortunately, our search for Super Famous Stars in Nashville and Rockin' Chevettes in the country was unsuccessful for the two of us, so we returned to our hotel to get ready for the Christmas Party.
That night we attended Joe's company Christmas party downstairs at our hotel and had a really good time! I was able to meet several of the people that he works with and after a few drinks, he had the courage to hit the dance floor for a couple of songs.
Saturday we got up early, ate breakfast at the hotel and headed towards Indiana. All was well until I decided I should go ahead and make a fool out of myself by vomiting in the car on the ride home.
Lucky for my driver... i had a plastic bag available to catch the .... well.... puke... so there was minimal clean up in the car.
Let me tell you... he handled it like a champ.
Pulled the car over at the nearest Classy Truck Stop Trashcan so I could finish puking like I was getting paid to do it. Then, into the truck stop I went to clean myself up and brush my teeth.
God love him. I know it was just nasty. But he was so good about it.
And i mean, what's hotter than a chick puking for no reason while you're driving 5 hours home.
...ok, don't answer that :)
Saturday evening, I hung out with he and his little boy and we had a good time. Sunday, I laid in bed sick all day and got my kiddos back that evening.
Outside of my Gastroentestinal track's decision to act like a fool for the past 2 days, my weekend was great!!
It was so nice to get away from home and enjoy time with my guy!
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thanksgiving
Overall, Thanksgiving was good this year. Thursday morning, both Joe and I were sans children and had tried to sign up to volunteer, but everywhere was full and turned me away when I called, so we ended up going to breakfast, laughing at their "special" menu and then heading to the casino so he could pass some time until we each parted ways and got our children.
It was nice to spend an otherwise lonely day with someone fun.
Thursday evening, I got my kids back and we headed over to Chas' other Grandma's house for a quick dinner. We didn't stay long, but stayed long enough for Chas and his cousin Benji to get their annual Lego Advent calendars and then headed home.
Chas was really wanting to go Black Friday shopping (he'd never been before) and I knew that I couldn't guarantee that I'd wake up early enough to go shopping with all the crazies, so I did what any other good mother would do.
I told him we'd stay up late and hit the Midnight-Opening stores.
I didn't really NEED anything, as most of my shopping has been done, however there were a few items at Kohl's that were a good deal and would finish some loose ends of shopping I had to do.
So away we went, out to the general public at 11:15 at night.
I had to do a quick and dirty education to my novice black Friday shoppers before we went in. Go through the doors, cut through the Juniors department and grab a cart... and QUICK. My son executed flawlessly as we received one of the last 3 carts in the store. SCORE!
The Kohl's line was long getting in, but I had a plan, I knew what I wanted and we were in and out before the checkout lanes got too long. I even had a receipt from the week before that they adjusted the price down on, so all-in-all, was a pretty successful trip to Kohl's with the kids.
We got home at about 2:30 a.m., after hitting a couple of other stores, and of course then I had my second wind and was up wrapping gifts until about 3:20 when I headed to bed. My mom arrived bright and early at just after 7 am to begin helping me cook our family's Thanksgiving Dinner for today.
We got everything cooked and were sitting down to eat by 1 o'clock. It was so nice to have my Grandpa over, despite the difficulty of missing Grandma, it was very nice to visit with him and try to keep him happy.
After lunch, the kids and I headed to the cemetary to visit Grandma, ran some errands and ended up kicking off the Christmas season by driving to look at Christmas lights for a little while.
Tomorrow (Saturday) I have a girls lunch at Olive Garden with Bekah, Jenny, Ashley and Crystal before we attend a fellow 80's Lady's daughter's 1st Birthday event! I'm so excited to see the beautiful Miss Rachel at her Birthday festivities.
I filled out my December calendar on my refridgerator this evening and was so excited to see all of the holiday festivities/exchanges/etc coming up! Have I mentioned that I LOVE the holidays!? I love looking under the tree and seeing all the fun gifts I get to bless people with. I know that Christmas isn't about the gifts but it IS about giving and I love to spend time with others and give. It's hard to believe that one month from today is Christmas and then, New Years and.... well...
2012!! I cannot wait to see what 2012 brings for my family. Whether good or bad, I'm ready for a new year.
It was nice to spend an otherwise lonely day with someone fun.
Thursday evening, I got my kids back and we headed over to Chas' other Grandma's house for a quick dinner. We didn't stay long, but stayed long enough for Chas and his cousin Benji to get their annual Lego Advent calendars and then headed home.
Chas was really wanting to go Black Friday shopping (he'd never been before) and I knew that I couldn't guarantee that I'd wake up early enough to go shopping with all the crazies, so I did what any other good mother would do.
I told him we'd stay up late and hit the Midnight-Opening stores.
I didn't really NEED anything, as most of my shopping has been done, however there were a few items at Kohl's that were a good deal and would finish some loose ends of shopping I had to do.
So away we went, out to the general public at 11:15 at night.
I had to do a quick and dirty education to my novice black Friday shoppers before we went in. Go through the doors, cut through the Juniors department and grab a cart... and QUICK. My son executed flawlessly as we received one of the last 3 carts in the store. SCORE!
The Kohl's line was long getting in, but I had a plan, I knew what I wanted and we were in and out before the checkout lanes got too long. I even had a receipt from the week before that they adjusted the price down on, so all-in-all, was a pretty successful trip to Kohl's with the kids.
We got home at about 2:30 a.m., after hitting a couple of other stores, and of course then I had my second wind and was up wrapping gifts until about 3:20 when I headed to bed. My mom arrived bright and early at just after 7 am to begin helping me cook our family's Thanksgiving Dinner for today.
We got everything cooked and were sitting down to eat by 1 o'clock. It was so nice to have my Grandpa over, despite the difficulty of missing Grandma, it was very nice to visit with him and try to keep him happy.
After lunch, the kids and I headed to the cemetary to visit Grandma, ran some errands and ended up kicking off the Christmas season by driving to look at Christmas lights for a little while.
Tomorrow (Saturday) I have a girls lunch at Olive Garden with Bekah, Jenny, Ashley and Crystal before we attend a fellow 80's Lady's daughter's 1st Birthday event! I'm so excited to see the beautiful Miss Rachel at her Birthday festivities.
I filled out my December calendar on my refridgerator this evening and was so excited to see all of the holiday festivities/exchanges/etc coming up! Have I mentioned that I LOVE the holidays!? I love looking under the tree and seeing all the fun gifts I get to bless people with. I know that Christmas isn't about the gifts but it IS about giving and I love to spend time with others and give. It's hard to believe that one month from today is Christmas and then, New Years and.... well...
2012!! I cannot wait to see what 2012 brings for my family. Whether good or bad, I'm ready for a new year.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Tabloids and Newspaper Articles
When I was younger and beginning to think about my future career, I tossed around several ideas - Psychologist, Manager, Nurse, Mediator, Journalist, etc.
I vividly remember wishing someday that I could be the editor of a major magazine. The name at the top of the list when you open the first few pages. I'd write a monthly column/article from The Editor and it would be so much fun.
Thankfully, that never came to fruition. I don't think I could be a writer 24/7 - or anything more than a hobby to be exact.
..but let me tell you right now - I can write a KILLER Tabloid for you.
Kinda odd, huh?
Let me explain.
Several years ago, I attended a Seminar at work with a guest speaker who spoke of leadership, efficiency, and motivation. I would pay a great deal of money to go hear her speak again. She presented the idea of the "Newspaper Article" verses the "Tabloid" - and it stuck with me like glue.
So, a Newspaper article is typically written with factual information (hang in there with me, some may oppose) - but for the most part - Newspaper articles are written with the basis of factual information. No extra bulk, just the facts.
A Tabloid, is a very, very lonnnnnnnnnnnnnng stretch of a truth to the point where sometimes, it carries so much circumstantial evidence that it is ALMOST believable.
Let me tell you, as much as I LOVE the theory of, "Is it a newspaper article or a tabloid?"... I am guilty as charged for not practicing what I preach to myself. I typically only find this to be a real issue in my life when it comes to relationships. And I don't necessarily mean just romantic relationships; I mean all kinds of relationships with friends, family, lovers, etc.
I can write a meannnnnn tabloid.
I'm going to go ahead and tattle on myself a little here (not airing dirty laundry, but hopefully you can relate a little bit and at the very least laugh at how STUPID this is.)
So, last night My Better Half came over and we fell asleep on the couch. About 1:30 in the morning, I heard my daughter yell for me, so I went to lay with her so she'd go back to sleep. A couple of minutes later, I heard footsteps to my front door, it shut and he had left. I texted him "I'm sorry." And never heard back.
(I know, sad sad story. Anyone need a tissue yet?) ha!
So, simple and innocent story.
I was literally sitting... well laying in bed thinking about this for NO LESS than 30 minutes.... writing a friggen tabloid.
Here was the tabloid that I was writing:
"Oh my gosh, I can't believe he just left! I was only in here for like 8 minutes. I was getting ready to go back out there. Surely he doesn't expect me to choose him OVER my kids! I mean, I am very understanding when it comes to his little boy. Seriously? He left!!! And now, he's not texting me back. Great, he's probably driving home thinking about how we can never work out because my daughter is so needy. But I swear, she'll out grow it. I mean, she has to, right? Well, you know what- if he doesn't care about me enough to get through this little spell with her, then I guess I don't need him around. But then i'll be sad if he's not around :(. Because we really have fun together! And if we do work out, sure we'll always have kids, but they won't live with us forever! The majority of our lives will be left with eachother, not with 3 kids running around. I wonder if he's ever thought of this? I can't believe he's not texting me back!!! He probably won't call in the morning on his way to work. If he doesn't, then I'll just "know" that he can't handle my family and I guess i will have to accept that I may never find someone to be with because of my kids...."
Stupid, huh?
And even if he was feeling that way, I had no way to prove it, so why stress about it at 2 a.m.
So, i started coaching myself through the Newspaper Article process....
Me to Self: What are the facts that you know and can prove about this situation?
Self: Well, i was laying with him on the couch. Bek yelled for me. I layed with her for about 8 minutes. He left. I texted.
Me to Self: Ok, so did he say that he was mad?
Self: Well, no.
Me to Self: Did he say that he did not want to be with you?
Self: Well, no.
Me to Self: Is there anything you can do about it if he decides this relationship isn't right for him?
Self: Actually, no. I guess not! I would want him to be happy, no matter what.
Me to Self: Ok, then what in the HECK is your problem, woman!?
Self: Well, I don't know.
Me to Self: Alright, then go to sleep.
And so that was the end of it. I went to sleep, I got up this morning, he called like normal. Assured me he wasn't mad (maybe he's fibbing!? - there goes the Tabloid again!) and life went on as normal.
I write tabloids ALL THE TIME.
..about the dumbest things! I find myself often having to stop and rewind the conversation to only the facts and then determine if I need to puruse getting additional facts, or just letting it be.
Surely I'm not the only person with a PhD in Tabloid Jounalism?!
I vividly remember wishing someday that I could be the editor of a major magazine. The name at the top of the list when you open the first few pages. I'd write a monthly column/article from The Editor and it would be so much fun.
Thankfully, that never came to fruition. I don't think I could be a writer 24/7 - or anything more than a hobby to be exact.
..but let me tell you right now - I can write a KILLER Tabloid for you.
Kinda odd, huh?
Let me explain.
Several years ago, I attended a Seminar at work with a guest speaker who spoke of leadership, efficiency, and motivation. I would pay a great deal of money to go hear her speak again. She presented the idea of the "Newspaper Article" verses the "Tabloid" - and it stuck with me like glue.
So, a Newspaper article is typically written with factual information (hang in there with me, some may oppose) - but for the most part - Newspaper articles are written with the basis of factual information. No extra bulk, just the facts.
A Tabloid, is a very, very lonnnnnnnnnnnnnng stretch of a truth to the point where sometimes, it carries so much circumstantial evidence that it is ALMOST believable.
Let me tell you, as much as I LOVE the theory of, "Is it a newspaper article or a tabloid?"... I am guilty as charged for not practicing what I preach to myself. I typically only find this to be a real issue in my life when it comes to relationships. And I don't necessarily mean just romantic relationships; I mean all kinds of relationships with friends, family, lovers, etc.
I can write a meannnnnn tabloid.
I'm going to go ahead and tattle on myself a little here (not airing dirty laundry, but hopefully you can relate a little bit and at the very least laugh at how STUPID this is.)
So, last night My Better Half came over and we fell asleep on the couch. About 1:30 in the morning, I heard my daughter yell for me, so I went to lay with her so she'd go back to sleep. A couple of minutes later, I heard footsteps to my front door, it shut and he had left. I texted him "I'm sorry." And never heard back.
(I know, sad sad story. Anyone need a tissue yet?) ha!
So, simple and innocent story.
I was literally sitting... well laying in bed thinking about this for NO LESS than 30 minutes.... writing a friggen tabloid.
Here was the tabloid that I was writing:
"Oh my gosh, I can't believe he just left! I was only in here for like 8 minutes. I was getting ready to go back out there. Surely he doesn't expect me to choose him OVER my kids! I mean, I am very understanding when it comes to his little boy. Seriously? He left!!! And now, he's not texting me back. Great, he's probably driving home thinking about how we can never work out because my daughter is so needy. But I swear, she'll out grow it. I mean, she has to, right? Well, you know what- if he doesn't care about me enough to get through this little spell with her, then I guess I don't need him around. But then i'll be sad if he's not around :(. Because we really have fun together! And if we do work out, sure we'll always have kids, but they won't live with us forever! The majority of our lives will be left with eachother, not with 3 kids running around. I wonder if he's ever thought of this? I can't believe he's not texting me back!!! He probably won't call in the morning on his way to work. If he doesn't, then I'll just "know" that he can't handle my family and I guess i will have to accept that I may never find someone to be with because of my kids...."
Stupid, huh?
And even if he was feeling that way, I had no way to prove it, so why stress about it at 2 a.m.
So, i started coaching myself through the Newspaper Article process....
Me to Self: What are the facts that you know and can prove about this situation?
Self: Well, i was laying with him on the couch. Bek yelled for me. I layed with her for about 8 minutes. He left. I texted.
Me to Self: Ok, so did he say that he was mad?
Self: Well, no.
Me to Self: Did he say that he did not want to be with you?
Self: Well, no.
Me to Self: Is there anything you can do about it if he decides this relationship isn't right for him?
Self: Actually, no. I guess not! I would want him to be happy, no matter what.
Me to Self: Ok, then what in the HECK is your problem, woman!?
Self: Well, I don't know.
Me to Self: Alright, then go to sleep.
And so that was the end of it. I went to sleep, I got up this morning, he called like normal. Assured me he wasn't mad (maybe he's fibbing!? - there goes the Tabloid again!) and life went on as normal.
I write tabloids ALL THE TIME.
..about the dumbest things! I find myself often having to stop and rewind the conversation to only the facts and then determine if I need to puruse getting additional facts, or just letting it be.
Surely I'm not the only person with a PhD in Tabloid Jounalism?!
Monday, November 21, 2011
The Lucky One
12 Years ago this Christmas break is when I got terribly sick, went to the Med Check, received a Prescription for an antibiotic (Biaxin) and went along my Merry little way; happy that another semester of College classes were over and ready to relax with my friends and family over the holidays.
Ever heard of the "gift" that keeps on giving?
In all my infinite 19 year old wisdom, I was not aware that antibiotics cancel out birth control pills.
And so the story of my sweet son was written over that Christmas break. Mid-January I found out that I was going to be a mom and by September 11th... the Thief of My Heart was placed into my arms and well....
...that's certainly the gift that keeps on giving!
Not one Christmas goes by that I don't think of that situation, how the plans for my future came to a screeching halt when I saw a (+) sign. Gone were the days of College Calculus where (+) signs meant something significant in a mathematical equation.
(+) meant baby. And that meant I had a great deal of growing up to do.... and FAST.
It wasn't the end of the world, in fact it was the beginning of a different world that dug deep into my core and taught me way more about "life" in the 11 years that have followed than I ever would've learned from a textbook and a pre-planned-trouble-free life that I had hoped for myself at that point.
***
I always wanted a big family. 3 or 4 kids... a nice home... good job... (never really was the stay-at-home-mom type) and a husband that loved me.
A few years ago, after having some female issues, I decided that I wasn't quite ready to do anything permanent to prevent future children.
I was open to the possibility of getting married someday, and if my husband wanted children, as a woman, I'd provide.
But I knew that I didn't want to wait too long, because my kids would be getting older as well and I didn't want to start over with a new baby when my older children were almost grown.
So, I chose the 5-year plan for Birth Control. It helped solve my female issues without doing anything permanently and I knew if I didn't have another baby within 5 years, I wasn't interested.
Finally about 18 months ago, I decided that I was at peace with the fact that I was not having any more children. Admittedly, it was a bit tough to swallow (not that i'm not thankful for the 2 I have)... but I absolutely love the way it feels to be pregnant, bonding with a sweet human being that you created.
And I'll never have that again.
I decided that if I were to ever have any more kids, they'd already have been born; meaning that I'd be very open to loving 'bonus' children (i don't like the word 'step'), but there would be no more children coming from this momma!
Since making that decision, I've had such an immense amount of joy watching some of my dearest friends become mothers.
Whenever I need a baby-fix, I simply call up one of my friends that has a baby, head to her house, feed the baby a bottle, change a few diapers, take a few pictures maybe buy it something fun and baby-like and then...
(this is the best part)....
I get to go home!!!!!
Yes, that sweet place called home... sans baby.
And watching my friends morph from women to mothers....?
Priceless.
I know the feeling... the feeling only a mom has when she looks at her child that is just absolutely the definition of near-perfection.
Been there. Done that.
I'm not sure what age that changes, but I will tell you that my 11 year old son stinks, is rude and makes noises out of his body that no one should.
He is no longer near-perfection.
(So... enjoy while you can ladies) haha.
Thank Goodness for Unconditional Love.... that boy better be thankful!
I love watching my mom-friends get excited at first words, first steps, first this, first that.... it's so sweet. And thankfully, my kids are over their monumental firsts, so I'm not busy worrying about my own kids' firsts... i get to experience those fun things with everyone else's babies.
Can it get any better?
This weekend, I found out from one of my sweetest friends that has been battling infertility for almost 2 years that...
they are expecting.
Not to sound obsessed ... but I almost was in tears because of the overflowing happiness I had for this sweet family.
Thank Goodness I have not experienced infertility, but I know from being on the journey with her over the last 2 years that it is heart wrenching. I felt her pain so many times and wished so much that I could just give her another baby to love.
And now....
prayers answered.
She goes today for her ultrasound to confirm that everything is ok and i'm pretty sure I feel like I'm the mom waiting to see my baby! I am just so over-the-moon excited for her.
Yet another baby to love.
Being a mom so young was definitely not the way that I had my life planned, but I am so, so thankful that I have the opportunity to share in the joy of my friends who are having their children now.
So, this Thanksgiving week, I'm especially thankful for my own sweet Children who didn't arrive in the package I had "planned" in my head, but arrived packaged straight from God's plan and right into my life. What a priviledge it is, to be their mother.
I'm thankful for my sweet guy and his little boy who absolutely melts my heart when he wants me to cuddle with him. What more could a 'mom' ask for than acceptance from a child that doesn't have to?
...and all of my dear friends who have (or are going to have very soon...) the cutest little babies that will let me feed them, change their diaper, love on them, tell them how perfect they are and then run like the wind when they start crying :)
I'm the lucky one.
Ever heard of the "gift" that keeps on giving?
In all my infinite 19 year old wisdom, I was not aware that antibiotics cancel out birth control pills.
And so the story of my sweet son was written over that Christmas break. Mid-January I found out that I was going to be a mom and by September 11th... the Thief of My Heart was placed into my arms and well....
...that's certainly the gift that keeps on giving!
Not one Christmas goes by that I don't think of that situation, how the plans for my future came to a screeching halt when I saw a (+) sign. Gone were the days of College Calculus where (+) signs meant something significant in a mathematical equation.
(+) meant baby. And that meant I had a great deal of growing up to do.... and FAST.
It wasn't the end of the world, in fact it was the beginning of a different world that dug deep into my core and taught me way more about "life" in the 11 years that have followed than I ever would've learned from a textbook and a pre-planned-trouble-free life that I had hoped for myself at that point.
***
I always wanted a big family. 3 or 4 kids... a nice home... good job... (never really was the stay-at-home-mom type) and a husband that loved me.
A few years ago, after having some female issues, I decided that I wasn't quite ready to do anything permanent to prevent future children.
I was open to the possibility of getting married someday, and if my husband wanted children, as a woman, I'd provide.
But I knew that I didn't want to wait too long, because my kids would be getting older as well and I didn't want to start over with a new baby when my older children were almost grown.
So, I chose the 5-year plan for Birth Control. It helped solve my female issues without doing anything permanently and I knew if I didn't have another baby within 5 years, I wasn't interested.
Finally about 18 months ago, I decided that I was at peace with the fact that I was not having any more children. Admittedly, it was a bit tough to swallow (not that i'm not thankful for the 2 I have)... but I absolutely love the way it feels to be pregnant, bonding with a sweet human being that you created.
And I'll never have that again.
I decided that if I were to ever have any more kids, they'd already have been born; meaning that I'd be very open to loving 'bonus' children (i don't like the word 'step'), but there would be no more children coming from this momma!
Since making that decision, I've had such an immense amount of joy watching some of my dearest friends become mothers.
Whenever I need a baby-fix, I simply call up one of my friends that has a baby, head to her house, feed the baby a bottle, change a few diapers, take a few pictures maybe buy it something fun and baby-like and then...
(this is the best part)....
I get to go home!!!!!
Yes, that sweet place called home... sans baby.
And watching my friends morph from women to mothers....?
Priceless.
I know the feeling... the feeling only a mom has when she looks at her child that is just absolutely the definition of near-perfection.
Been there. Done that.
I'm not sure what age that changes, but I will tell you that my 11 year old son stinks, is rude and makes noises out of his body that no one should.
He is no longer near-perfection.
(So... enjoy while you can ladies) haha.
Thank Goodness for Unconditional Love.... that boy better be thankful!
I love watching my mom-friends get excited at first words, first steps, first this, first that.... it's so sweet. And thankfully, my kids are over their monumental firsts, so I'm not busy worrying about my own kids' firsts... i get to experience those fun things with everyone else's babies.
Can it get any better?
This weekend, I found out from one of my sweetest friends that has been battling infertility for almost 2 years that...
they are expecting.
Not to sound obsessed ... but I almost was in tears because of the overflowing happiness I had for this sweet family.
Thank Goodness I have not experienced infertility, but I know from being on the journey with her over the last 2 years that it is heart wrenching. I felt her pain so many times and wished so much that I could just give her another baby to love.
And now....
prayers answered.
She goes today for her ultrasound to confirm that everything is ok and i'm pretty sure I feel like I'm the mom waiting to see my baby! I am just so over-the-moon excited for her.
Yet another baby to love.
Being a mom so young was definitely not the way that I had my life planned, but I am so, so thankful that I have the opportunity to share in the joy of my friends who are having their children now.
So, this Thanksgiving week, I'm especially thankful for my own sweet Children who didn't arrive in the package I had "planned" in my head, but arrived packaged straight from God's plan and right into my life. What a priviledge it is, to be their mother.
I'm thankful for my sweet guy and his little boy who absolutely melts my heart when he wants me to cuddle with him. What more could a 'mom' ask for than acceptance from a child that doesn't have to?
...and all of my dear friends who have (or are going to have very soon...) the cutest little babies that will let me feed them, change their diaper, love on them, tell them how perfect they are and then run like the wind when they start crying :)
I'm the lucky one.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Sailing
I've never lost anyone close to me before, so this whole experience with my Grandma passing has been a learning experience. One that, I would prefer to not have to 'learn' about, but the reality is, many people don't have their Grandparents, so for me to still have both of mine for 31 years, is a blessing... for sure.
I knew it would be difficult for me to deal with, but I've been doing ok. I have my days - this morning was one of them - where I realize the reality of her passing. And that's tough.
But my sweet Bekah is really struggling with it.
She's very emotional, soft hearted and caring to begin with. Add the fact that she's too young to really understand death and grieving, and it's been quite a challenge for me. Both fortunately and unfortunately, because I had never had anyone of significance in my life pass away before now, I don't have any kind of an example to follow on how my parents did or did not handle this situation.
So, as with many things in life... I trudge through the best I can.
If you know me very well, you probably know that I think through most things, entirely too much. In some instances, I am clearly a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of person. But in other situations, especially when it comes to my children, I like to think things through as to how (whatever it is) would impact my children and how to help them cope.
When it came to my Grandma's passing, I wanted to prepare them for everything. I wanted nothing to be a shock to them throughout the funeral process.
(and yes, i'm one of those moms that has the birds and the bees talk with her kids before the school does.)
But anyway - from the moment the kids and I found out at the hospital that my Grandma didn't make it, after I pulled myself together, I offered them the opportunity to see her in her room at the hospital. Some may agree, others may disagree, but I wanted them to make that decision on their own.
My mom and I wanted to see her before the Funeral Home picked her up, and the kids decided that they did too. I tried to explain that what they would see in that room, is just her "Earth Suit". A costume of sorts that we all wear, but once our time on Earth is over, and our Earth Suit retires, the core of our being, our spirit, goes to Heaven and is very alive and happy.
I know not all people share my belief on the whole God and Heaven thing, but for now this is how I explain it to my kids.
They went in the room to see Grandma one last time, but didn't stay long. I didn't expect them to, but thought they should have the opportunity. I don't want "death" to freak them out, because it is a reality and in their lives, they will lose many people they love. I was hoping to lay a good foundation now.
So, in the days that followed, Chas was pretty quiet, while Bekah asked a lot more questions. Each of them I tried to answer as honestly and child-friendly as I could. I explained exactly what Grandma would be wearing when we saw her at the funeral home, and how she'd probably look so comfortable we'd think she was sleeping. I let the kids pick out their own little bouquet of flowers and write a note to put in the casket with her before they closed it.
I talked about the cemetary and how she'd be buried in a vault, etc and how they would do all of that after we left. Some of it I think they understood. Other parts, probably not.
After the funeral, we went to the cemetary before the flowers were taken off her grave so the kids could see it. I've tried to show them every single phase that is possible.
Bekah is scared to death to walk around my house alone. She's afraid that Grandma is in every room, under blankets, etc. In her simple mind, I think she believes my grandma is hiding. But on the same token, just the other day - she mentioned that she missed her and started crying about how she'll never ever get to see her again.
It broke my heart.
What do you say to that?
Sure, there's the cliche' ..."oh we'll see Grandma when we get to heaven." ..that just sparks a whole different set of questions that are even harder to answer for an almost 8 year old.
This is some really tough stuff.
Something I'm not sure we're ever prepared for, but I'm certainly doing my best to deal with it realisticially and empathetically.
With that being said, her other Great Grandma (her dad's g-ma) is in the hospital now. And instantly Bekah is in tears, "I don't want Granny to die!" Bless her heart.
What am I supposed to say? I mean, we thought everything was ok with my Grandma and then BOOM. Gone.
So, I continue to lean on the Faith that we have in our hearts and the God that I've taught her to believe in and remind her that He is the only one that knows when Granny's last day will be.
I can't promise her that she'll be ok and then have the same thing happen again.
If I were to practice what I preach, I wouldn't be selfishly praying that "Granny" be ok, at least for a few more months until we can all heal from my Grandma's passing. But I admit. I am.
When I went to the hospital with Bekah to see her Granny, it was tough. Tougher than I expected.
Part of me was so sad inside, that she was suffering.
Another part of me was worried sick that she would pass and then they would all be hurting like I was.... and am.
Then another small part of me, admittedly was jealous; that they still had their Grandma - and I didn't.
So, right now, I'm just praying that Granny will be ok, because I don't know how I will be able to help Bekah get through another death, so quickly.
On the bright side, spending time with my Grandpa, helping him run errands and taking care of him has been such a huge honor for me. I've always loved my Grandpa dearly, possibly because he's the only 'man' in my life that's ever loved me consistently, no matter what my faults or successes. ...and as his only Granddaughter, I feel that he might feel the same way about me.
He's been learning how to take care of himself, all while grieving the loss of his wife, the mother of his children and quite possibly, his best friend of 56 years. It's bittersweet. But I am so, so thankful for the talks in the car that he and I have had. For the opportunities to tell him that I love him and to calm his worries about everything from money to laundry.
The waters I'm sailing are most certainly uncharted for me, however I think I'm navigating alright. Trying to ride the waves and prepare my little sailors as well as possible for the journeys ahead.
I knew it would be difficult for me to deal with, but I've been doing ok. I have my days - this morning was one of them - where I realize the reality of her passing. And that's tough.
But my sweet Bekah is really struggling with it.
She's very emotional, soft hearted and caring to begin with. Add the fact that she's too young to really understand death and grieving, and it's been quite a challenge for me. Both fortunately and unfortunately, because I had never had anyone of significance in my life pass away before now, I don't have any kind of an example to follow on how my parents did or did not handle this situation.
So, as with many things in life... I trudge through the best I can.
If you know me very well, you probably know that I think through most things, entirely too much. In some instances, I am clearly a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of person. But in other situations, especially when it comes to my children, I like to think things through as to how (whatever it is) would impact my children and how to help them cope.
When it came to my Grandma's passing, I wanted to prepare them for everything. I wanted nothing to be a shock to them throughout the funeral process.
(and yes, i'm one of those moms that has the birds and the bees talk with her kids before the school does.)
But anyway - from the moment the kids and I found out at the hospital that my Grandma didn't make it, after I pulled myself together, I offered them the opportunity to see her in her room at the hospital. Some may agree, others may disagree, but I wanted them to make that decision on their own.
My mom and I wanted to see her before the Funeral Home picked her up, and the kids decided that they did too. I tried to explain that what they would see in that room, is just her "Earth Suit". A costume of sorts that we all wear, but once our time on Earth is over, and our Earth Suit retires, the core of our being, our spirit, goes to Heaven and is very alive and happy.
I know not all people share my belief on the whole God and Heaven thing, but for now this is how I explain it to my kids.
They went in the room to see Grandma one last time, but didn't stay long. I didn't expect them to, but thought they should have the opportunity. I don't want "death" to freak them out, because it is a reality and in their lives, they will lose many people they love. I was hoping to lay a good foundation now.
So, in the days that followed, Chas was pretty quiet, while Bekah asked a lot more questions. Each of them I tried to answer as honestly and child-friendly as I could. I explained exactly what Grandma would be wearing when we saw her at the funeral home, and how she'd probably look so comfortable we'd think she was sleeping. I let the kids pick out their own little bouquet of flowers and write a note to put in the casket with her before they closed it.
I talked about the cemetary and how she'd be buried in a vault, etc and how they would do all of that after we left. Some of it I think they understood. Other parts, probably not.
After the funeral, we went to the cemetary before the flowers were taken off her grave so the kids could see it. I've tried to show them every single phase that is possible.
Bekah is scared to death to walk around my house alone. She's afraid that Grandma is in every room, under blankets, etc. In her simple mind, I think she believes my grandma is hiding. But on the same token, just the other day - she mentioned that she missed her and started crying about how she'll never ever get to see her again.
It broke my heart.
What do you say to that?
Sure, there's the cliche' ..."oh we'll see Grandma when we get to heaven." ..that just sparks a whole different set of questions that are even harder to answer for an almost 8 year old.
This is some really tough stuff.
Something I'm not sure we're ever prepared for, but I'm certainly doing my best to deal with it realisticially and empathetically.
With that being said, her other Great Grandma (her dad's g-ma) is in the hospital now. And instantly Bekah is in tears, "I don't want Granny to die!" Bless her heart.
What am I supposed to say? I mean, we thought everything was ok with my Grandma and then BOOM. Gone.
So, I continue to lean on the Faith that we have in our hearts and the God that I've taught her to believe in and remind her that He is the only one that knows when Granny's last day will be.
I can't promise her that she'll be ok and then have the same thing happen again.
If I were to practice what I preach, I wouldn't be selfishly praying that "Granny" be ok, at least for a few more months until we can all heal from my Grandma's passing. But I admit. I am.
When I went to the hospital with Bekah to see her Granny, it was tough. Tougher than I expected.
Part of me was so sad inside, that she was suffering.
Another part of me was worried sick that she would pass and then they would all be hurting like I was.... and am.
Then another small part of me, admittedly was jealous; that they still had their Grandma - and I didn't.
So, right now, I'm just praying that Granny will be ok, because I don't know how I will be able to help Bekah get through another death, so quickly.
On the bright side, spending time with my Grandpa, helping him run errands and taking care of him has been such a huge honor for me. I've always loved my Grandpa dearly, possibly because he's the only 'man' in my life that's ever loved me consistently, no matter what my faults or successes. ...and as his only Granddaughter, I feel that he might feel the same way about me.
He's been learning how to take care of himself, all while grieving the loss of his wife, the mother of his children and quite possibly, his best friend of 56 years. It's bittersweet. But I am so, so thankful for the talks in the car that he and I have had. For the opportunities to tell him that I love him and to calm his worries about everything from money to laundry.
The waters I'm sailing are most certainly uncharted for me, however I think I'm navigating alright. Trying to ride the waves and prepare my little sailors as well as possible for the journeys ahead.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Africa
I've had Missions Trips on my heart alot lately; as my church is going on a Mission Trip to Africa next summer and it's really made me want to join them. Not sure if it's a possibility logistically, but nonetheless - it's been on my mind and heart pretty heavily lately.
With that being said, last night I had a dream that I actually went on the trip. Except it was nothing like I thought. I was completely unprepared, which isn't normal for me, especially when it comes to traveling. I remember in my dream, landing on a plane in Africa and realizing that I'd forgotten my cell phone charger.... and most importantly... my camera.
How in the world did I forget my camera when I was on a trip to Africa?? No idea.
But I did.
And I was absolutely devastated.
In my dream, I felt really uneasy, like maybe I hadn't prepared well enough at home, with getting my kids ready for me to be away, so long story short, my mission trip was cut short and I returned home quickly.
But I would really, really love to do something like that sometime. Moreso though, when Chas is a tad bit older as I think he'd really benefit from seeing the world in a less-than-glorious fashion. I really want him to understand the needs of others as well as serve them in whatever capacity that is.
Serve "the least of these" ; novel concept, eh?
I think it's one thing to provide for your child in a way that makes sure that their needs and wants are met.
But it's a completely different story when you expose them to the world.
The real world.
The kind of exposure that burrows into their hearts for a really long time and turns them into genuine people. Ones that care for others and put others in front of themselves.
Maybe that's just my view, but I would absolutely love to share that opportunity with my children; one-on-one.
When I was 13, I traveled to the UK and Ireland as a Student Abassador. Was the trip great, amazing, wonderful, etc?
Yes
Was it life-changing....
Yes, but not in the way that really changes your heart.
So maybe I should put it this way... and perhaps this will give me some 'push' to start a separate account to save for such trips....
Just thinking outloud here...
but how awesome would it be if I could take each of my children one-on-one to two different "life changing" places in their lives. Perhaps, during their impressionable years (say 12-14)... take them on a Mission Trip to a different part of the world - whether it be Latin America, Africa, etc. And then, maybe as a graduation gift or something similar... take them to a more modernized area of the world, so for instance UK, Europe, etc.
I dunno, but I think that would be a goal to work towards that would benefit them more than any kind of material possessions. And quite possibly play a key role in turning them into the type of people that I want them to be as they grow up.
They don't have to be the smartest kids in the class to make me happy.
They don't have to go to college and get their trusty diploma to make me proud.
They don't have to achieve some grand position at a company making thousands of dollars annually to make me think they are successful.
My love and acceptance isn't based on success....
What would make me happy, proud and think they are successful is if they end up being selfless servants of others. Always looking out for others' feelings, showing their appreciation for others and willingness to help in times of need. Lacking judgement and showing only love and compassion, no matter who the people are.
That's what I want for them.
And I think it's my job to provide them opportuntities to learn that.
With that being said, last night I had a dream that I actually went on the trip. Except it was nothing like I thought. I was completely unprepared, which isn't normal for me, especially when it comes to traveling. I remember in my dream, landing on a plane in Africa and realizing that I'd forgotten my cell phone charger.... and most importantly... my camera.
How in the world did I forget my camera when I was on a trip to Africa?? No idea.
But I did.
And I was absolutely devastated.
In my dream, I felt really uneasy, like maybe I hadn't prepared well enough at home, with getting my kids ready for me to be away, so long story short, my mission trip was cut short and I returned home quickly.
But I would really, really love to do something like that sometime. Moreso though, when Chas is a tad bit older as I think he'd really benefit from seeing the world in a less-than-glorious fashion. I really want him to understand the needs of others as well as serve them in whatever capacity that is.
Serve "the least of these" ; novel concept, eh?
I think it's one thing to provide for your child in a way that makes sure that their needs and wants are met.
But it's a completely different story when you expose them to the world.
The real world.
The kind of exposure that burrows into their hearts for a really long time and turns them into genuine people. Ones that care for others and put others in front of themselves.
Maybe that's just my view, but I would absolutely love to share that opportunity with my children; one-on-one.
When I was 13, I traveled to the UK and Ireland as a Student Abassador. Was the trip great, amazing, wonderful, etc?
Yes
Was it life-changing....
Yes, but not in the way that really changes your heart.
So maybe I should put it this way... and perhaps this will give me some 'push' to start a separate account to save for such trips....
Just thinking outloud here...
but how awesome would it be if I could take each of my children one-on-one to two different "life changing" places in their lives. Perhaps, during their impressionable years (say 12-14)... take them on a Mission Trip to a different part of the world - whether it be Latin America, Africa, etc. And then, maybe as a graduation gift or something similar... take them to a more modernized area of the world, so for instance UK, Europe, etc.
I dunno, but I think that would be a goal to work towards that would benefit them more than any kind of material possessions. And quite possibly play a key role in turning them into the type of people that I want them to be as they grow up.
They don't have to be the smartest kids in the class to make me happy.
They don't have to go to college and get their trusty diploma to make me proud.
They don't have to achieve some grand position at a company making thousands of dollars annually to make me think they are successful.
My love and acceptance isn't based on success....
What would make me happy, proud and think they are successful is if they end up being selfless servants of others. Always looking out for others' feelings, showing their appreciation for others and willingness to help in times of need. Lacking judgement and showing only love and compassion, no matter who the people are.
That's what I want for them.
And I think it's my job to provide them opportuntities to learn that.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Card Maker
It was like a serious episode of deja-vu.... almost as if I were reliving something that had happened previously in my life.
I decided to surf the Hallmark.com website; just to see what kinds of interesting cards they had online verses in store. I'm always a sucker for a good card. The kind of card that says everything you wanted to say, but couldn't be creative enough to think up.
I was looking at some of the personalized cards that you could make and had a moment ....
...where I remembered walking into the old CVS... or maybe it was Revco. I don't think it was Hook's... I think it was somewhere between Hooks and CVS... but anyway - you'd walk in the front doors and head to the "card" section to look for the most appropriate card when...
...a big machine would catch your eye.
Instantly made/printed personalized cards!!!
Say it isn't so?!
Does anyone else remember those sweet machines? I can still hear the way they sounded when they pulled the pre-folded paper from the tray, and began dropping ink in the appropriate spaces to match the card you'd selected on the little screen.
Instant and Personalized.
Novel Concept.
I suppose technology got in the way of those sweet card machines... and they went away; and to be honest... I'd forgotten those machines even existed.
I decided to surf the Hallmark.com website; just to see what kinds of interesting cards they had online verses in store. I'm always a sucker for a good card. The kind of card that says everything you wanted to say, but couldn't be creative enough to think up.
I was looking at some of the personalized cards that you could make and had a moment ....
...where I remembered walking into the old CVS... or maybe it was Revco. I don't think it was Hook's... I think it was somewhere between Hooks and CVS... but anyway - you'd walk in the front doors and head to the "card" section to look for the most appropriate card when...
...a big machine would catch your eye.
Instantly made/printed personalized cards!!!
Say it isn't so?!
Does anyone else remember those sweet machines? I can still hear the way they sounded when they pulled the pre-folded paper from the tray, and began dropping ink in the appropriate spaces to match the card you'd selected on the little screen.
Instant and Personalized.
Novel Concept.
I suppose technology got in the way of those sweet card machines... and they went away; and to be honest... I'd forgotten those machines even existed.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
The Bus
Sometimes I struggle with the 'seasons' we go through as human beings in friendships. I know it's a normal cycle of life, where some friends play a significant role in your life for many years, then move on; but I still struggle with the reality of that fact.
Then, you have other friends that you don't talk to for months, and out of the blue, they call - and you reconnect like you talk daily.
There's one part of me that easily accepts those seasons and is extremely thankful for those individuals that are in my life at this time and provide good, strong friendships. Then, there's the other part that sees my 'old' friends moving on with their lives, not caring about mine, not reaching out to chat, see what's up or offering to hang out.
For a moment, admittedly, I slip into a victim mentality where I start hosting a pity-party for myself and get all worked up about why no one calls me to do things.... then I remember that I am extremely busy with work, kids, school, etc and probably don't have time to be with them anyway. And regardless, we've gone through some changes in the past year or so, and probably wouldn't enjoy hanging out with them anyway.
And just as space has come in between me and some of my old friends, that space has been filled with the love and enjoyment of the 80's Ladies, so I"m not even sure why I am phased by this situation. I think it's human nature to want to be accepted and needed; so when that void is present, we tend to get pessimistic.
I heard a quote in church this morning that made me really think about that pity party I was having...
"The bus you're on right now, may not be the bus that will take you where you need to go."
I thought about it a little deeper and thought, not only about the 'bus i'm on' ... but also about who's on the bus with me. Those individuals from whom I've grown apart recently rode on the bus with me for a long time. We got eachother through some pretty crazy 'stuff' during our ride... but maybe ... just maybe.... they got on a different bus; to a different destination.
As did I.
And that's alright!
Maybe there are some new people on the bus with me now. And maybe they'll play a different role in my life. Or, maybe at some point, we'll pull up to a bus stop and those people will exit.
Who knows.
For now though, I'm going to remind myself of this analogy in order to help me be thankful for the people that are in my life right now and are able to stay on the bus with me for a little while... or a long while :) Whichever.
This weekend was a great weekend. After the crazy week I'd had last week, I was so, so thankful to be able to relax and just be low-key.
Depending on the week we have this week, I told the kids they could possibly have friends spend the night on Friday night. It's been a while since they've had a fun evening at home with friends, so we may just have to make that happen.
Then, you have other friends that you don't talk to for months, and out of the blue, they call - and you reconnect like you talk daily.
There's one part of me that easily accepts those seasons and is extremely thankful for those individuals that are in my life at this time and provide good, strong friendships. Then, there's the other part that sees my 'old' friends moving on with their lives, not caring about mine, not reaching out to chat, see what's up or offering to hang out.
For a moment, admittedly, I slip into a victim mentality where I start hosting a pity-party for myself and get all worked up about why no one calls me to do things.... then I remember that I am extremely busy with work, kids, school, etc and probably don't have time to be with them anyway. And regardless, we've gone through some changes in the past year or so, and probably wouldn't enjoy hanging out with them anyway.
And just as space has come in between me and some of my old friends, that space has been filled with the love and enjoyment of the 80's Ladies, so I"m not even sure why I am phased by this situation. I think it's human nature to want to be accepted and needed; so when that void is present, we tend to get pessimistic.
I heard a quote in church this morning that made me really think about that pity party I was having...
"The bus you're on right now, may not be the bus that will take you where you need to go."
I thought about it a little deeper and thought, not only about the 'bus i'm on' ... but also about who's on the bus with me. Those individuals from whom I've grown apart recently rode on the bus with me for a long time. We got eachother through some pretty crazy 'stuff' during our ride... but maybe ... just maybe.... they got on a different bus; to a different destination.
As did I.
And that's alright!
Maybe there are some new people on the bus with me now. And maybe they'll play a different role in my life. Or, maybe at some point, we'll pull up to a bus stop and those people will exit.
Who knows.
For now though, I'm going to remind myself of this analogy in order to help me be thankful for the people that are in my life right now and are able to stay on the bus with me for a little while... or a long while :) Whichever.
This weekend was a great weekend. After the crazy week I'd had last week, I was so, so thankful to be able to relax and just be low-key.
Depending on the week we have this week, I told the kids they could possibly have friends spend the night on Friday night. It's been a while since they've had a fun evening at home with friends, so we may just have to make that happen.
Friday, November 4, 2011
New Normal
With what may be one of the saddest days of my life behind me, it's now time to adjust to a new way of life, without Grandma. Our once weekly lunches will now turn into lunch dates with just me and my Grandpa, which is just fine with me. The time alone with my Grandpa is something that I will begin to cherish even more in the weeks and months ahead. Because this was all such a shock to him, he is so appreciative of anything people do for him. The holidays will undoubtedly be a difficult time for all of us, but this is the way it was supposed to work out, and so we have to embrace the change, as a family and move forward.
My house is a total disaster. Being in and out so much the past week, it has just went downhill quickly. So, at some point in the next couple of weeks, I really need to do a thorough cleaning. I was preparing to do so anyway, with Christmas coming up, but now it's just been compounded by people in and out, food deliveries, flowers, etc and it looks like a live-in funeral home has been robbed! What a mess.
If you stop by, don't judge. But i'd recommend you just don't stop by :)
One of my classes for school is coming to an end, which is nice because I can spend the last month of school focusing on Econ; which I enjoy, but takes a lot of focus and studying. I only missed 3 on my Mid-Term, and my final grade will be no lower than my Final, so I'm really hoping to get another A on my final so I can get an A in the class. I messed up on a couple of homeworks and got C's, so I was hoping to not have those pull my grade down to a B. If it happens, it will be ok, but really wanted to keep my grades at the A mark.
Trick-or-Treating was pretty fun this year, despite the circumstances. Bekah went dressed as a mummy/zombie and Chas went in his crazy guille suit AGAIN. He's about to outgrow Trick-or-Treating, so he just threw on the obnoxious net from last year and went with some of his friends around the neighborhood. If I were a good mom, I'd run and get my camera card to upload a picture of Bek. ...but I'm too lazy. Please excuse me for that.
I am so ready for Christmas. I normally have most of my shopping done by now, and admittedly, I'm no where near done... however I love that time of year. I love the time with friends that are like family, getting together for yummy food, gift exchanges and memories. It's such a nostalgic time of year from the decorating to the smell of everyone's homes as you walk in with an armful of gifts.
I'm a bit embarrassed to say that by this time last year, I already had my Christmas stuff staged in my garage and ready to come in the house. Not so much this year, but it's on my mind. I know, I know... it's too soon. But whatever.
Since I got my new furniture, I had the revelation that there's not as much room in my family room for the Christmas Tree. That could pose for a bit of an issue. Add the fact that I moved my sofa table out of my family room and into my front room/office and that compounds the issue that I don't have enough space in my front room for the second Christmas tree.
Suffice it to say that there's a good possibility my house and furniture arrangement may just look a bit "awkward" throughout the month of November/December.
Deal with it.
Or don't come over.
HA!
I think that's about it for now. A few of my friends are doing a little November Challenge of things they are thankful for in honor of Thanksgiving. I just don't think I can keep the commitment right now of updating this crazy blog every day.... kudos to those that can do it, but I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm just not that good.
However, I will say that today... I am thankful for......
hmmmm...
(trying to think outside the box here, because y'all know i'm thankful for my kids, family, etc)
soooo I think I will say that I am super thankful for DEVILED EGGS!
At the funeral dinner, someone friggen NAILED the Deviled Egg recipe to the point that my daughter asked me if I loved them so much, why don't I marry them.
It was all I could do to not pop a bit of egg shell on my left hand ring finger and call it a done deal. I know it's a bit of an "egg"aggeration, but it would be absolutely "egg"cellent if I could spend the rest of my life eating Deviled Eggs.
I know, that was corny. Bear with me here.... it's been a rough week :)
My house is a total disaster. Being in and out so much the past week, it has just went downhill quickly. So, at some point in the next couple of weeks, I really need to do a thorough cleaning. I was preparing to do so anyway, with Christmas coming up, but now it's just been compounded by people in and out, food deliveries, flowers, etc and it looks like a live-in funeral home has been robbed! What a mess.
If you stop by, don't judge. But i'd recommend you just don't stop by :)
One of my classes for school is coming to an end, which is nice because I can spend the last month of school focusing on Econ; which I enjoy, but takes a lot of focus and studying. I only missed 3 on my Mid-Term, and my final grade will be no lower than my Final, so I'm really hoping to get another A on my final so I can get an A in the class. I messed up on a couple of homeworks and got C's, so I was hoping to not have those pull my grade down to a B. If it happens, it will be ok, but really wanted to keep my grades at the A mark.
Trick-or-Treating was pretty fun this year, despite the circumstances. Bekah went dressed as a mummy/zombie and Chas went in his crazy guille suit AGAIN. He's about to outgrow Trick-or-Treating, so he just threw on the obnoxious net from last year and went with some of his friends around the neighborhood. If I were a good mom, I'd run and get my camera card to upload a picture of Bek. ...but I'm too lazy. Please excuse me for that.
I am so ready for Christmas. I normally have most of my shopping done by now, and admittedly, I'm no where near done... however I love that time of year. I love the time with friends that are like family, getting together for yummy food, gift exchanges and memories. It's such a nostalgic time of year from the decorating to the smell of everyone's homes as you walk in with an armful of gifts.
I'm a bit embarrassed to say that by this time last year, I already had my Christmas stuff staged in my garage and ready to come in the house. Not so much this year, but it's on my mind. I know, I know... it's too soon. But whatever.
Since I got my new furniture, I had the revelation that there's not as much room in my family room for the Christmas Tree. That could pose for a bit of an issue. Add the fact that I moved my sofa table out of my family room and into my front room/office and that compounds the issue that I don't have enough space in my front room for the second Christmas tree.
Suffice it to say that there's a good possibility my house and furniture arrangement may just look a bit "awkward" throughout the month of November/December.
Deal with it.
Or don't come over.
HA!
I think that's about it for now. A few of my friends are doing a little November Challenge of things they are thankful for in honor of Thanksgiving. I just don't think I can keep the commitment right now of updating this crazy blog every day.... kudos to those that can do it, but I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm just not that good.
However, I will say that today... I am thankful for......
hmmmm...
(trying to think outside the box here, because y'all know i'm thankful for my kids, family, etc)
soooo I think I will say that I am super thankful for DEVILED EGGS!
At the funeral dinner, someone friggen NAILED the Deviled Egg recipe to the point that my daughter asked me if I loved them so much, why don't I marry them.
It was all I could do to not pop a bit of egg shell on my left hand ring finger and call it a done deal. I know it's a bit of an "egg"aggeration, but it would be absolutely "egg"cellent if I could spend the rest of my life eating Deviled Eggs.
I know, that was corny. Bear with me here.... it's been a rough week :)
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Because She Loved Me
A Few Things I learned from my Grandma:
1.) It's ok to believe whatever you want to believe. Just stand by what you believe, no matter what.
2.) Always, always.... stand by your family. Even when they make mistakes, be there for them.
3.) Homemade buttercream icing is the best. And it's easy to make; if you just watch Grandma.
4.) Offer your humble assistance, but don't force it. Let people know that you're willing, but if they don't accept your help, let it be.
5.) Be prepared. For everything. Worry enough to make you prepared in case "anything happens"; if that time ever comes, no matter what the situation.... your family will thank you.
6.) Put others first, think of their needs often, but do not, under any circumstances EVER allow ANYONE to walk all over you. Be tough.
7.) It's ok to have way too much furniture and "stuff". Even if it feels like your house is never fully cleaned and picked up; if all that furniture makes you happy, for whatever reason... that's ok. Just be happy. And proud.
8.) A new bedspread really does make a difference. Don't worry if you have more bed spreads than days of the month. Just be happy.
9.) A necklace, rings or a good bracelet makes any outfit better.
10.) Take any and every opportunity to be with the people you love. Drive by to just say 'hi'. Give them a little something to tell them you're thinking of them.
Tell people how much they mean to you.
Thursday afternoon, as I was sitting at the hospital with my Grandma, she told me things she'd never said before; and things I needed to hear. She told me that she's always felt, no matter what the circumstances were, whether it be my childhood 'situations' or the issues that I've had in my adult life, that I've always handled things so well. Exemplary. Above Par. And she was proud.
I needed to hear that. I knew she loved me, but I needed to hear that she was proud of me, despite some of the mistakes I'd made.
She never judged.
When she started saying the things she did that day, I knew she was closing the book of her life. Saying the things she needed to say and leaving her last bit of peace and acceptance for my heart to hold onto.
She was scheduled for her bypass surgery this Thursday; which was going to be a risky procedure.
She visited with my Grandpa on Saturday morning and early afternoon. After my mom went to pick my Grandpa up to take him home for the day, Grandma called her sister. The one she talked to every single day.
After she finished the call with her sister, she went downhill. Within about 15 minutes, she was gone.
Quick.
Easy.
Without Suffering.
Without any of her loved ones present to witness what would be the last minutes of her life.
That's exactly how she would've wanted to go.
I'm so thankful for the hours I spent with Grandma in the three days before she passed. The demands of life can often get in the way, but this was an opportunity that could've easily been passed and never replaced. There are no words that can express my gratitude to my boss and employer for understanding that family comes first, no matter what.
Undoubtedly, life will resume and go back to the way it used to be. We'll establish a new norm that doesn't include Grandma driving her maroon buick around the corner and turning into my driveway to deliver bags of assorted candies to my kids. Those will be the moments I miss her most.
My life isn't poorer now that she's gone, but rather richer not only because I loved her but because she loved me.
1.) It's ok to believe whatever you want to believe. Just stand by what you believe, no matter what.
2.) Always, always.... stand by your family. Even when they make mistakes, be there for them.
3.) Homemade buttercream icing is the best. And it's easy to make; if you just watch Grandma.
4.) Offer your humble assistance, but don't force it. Let people know that you're willing, but if they don't accept your help, let it be.
5.) Be prepared. For everything. Worry enough to make you prepared in case "anything happens"; if that time ever comes, no matter what the situation.... your family will thank you.
6.) Put others first, think of their needs often, but do not, under any circumstances EVER allow ANYONE to walk all over you. Be tough.
7.) It's ok to have way too much furniture and "stuff". Even if it feels like your house is never fully cleaned and picked up; if all that furniture makes you happy, for whatever reason... that's ok. Just be happy. And proud.
8.) A new bedspread really does make a difference. Don't worry if you have more bed spreads than days of the month. Just be happy.
9.) A necklace, rings or a good bracelet makes any outfit better.
10.) Take any and every opportunity to be with the people you love. Drive by to just say 'hi'. Give them a little something to tell them you're thinking of them.
Tell people how much they mean to you.
Thursday afternoon, as I was sitting at the hospital with my Grandma, she told me things she'd never said before; and things I needed to hear. She told me that she's always felt, no matter what the circumstances were, whether it be my childhood 'situations' or the issues that I've had in my adult life, that I've always handled things so well. Exemplary. Above Par. And she was proud.
I needed to hear that. I knew she loved me, but I needed to hear that she was proud of me, despite some of the mistakes I'd made.
She never judged.
When she started saying the things she did that day, I knew she was closing the book of her life. Saying the things she needed to say and leaving her last bit of peace and acceptance for my heart to hold onto.
She was scheduled for her bypass surgery this Thursday; which was going to be a risky procedure.
She visited with my Grandpa on Saturday morning and early afternoon. After my mom went to pick my Grandpa up to take him home for the day, Grandma called her sister. The one she talked to every single day.
After she finished the call with her sister, she went downhill. Within about 15 minutes, she was gone.
Quick.
Easy.
Without Suffering.
Without any of her loved ones present to witness what would be the last minutes of her life.
That's exactly how she would've wanted to go.
I'm so thankful for the hours I spent with Grandma in the three days before she passed. The demands of life can often get in the way, but this was an opportunity that could've easily been passed and never replaced. There are no words that can express my gratitude to my boss and employer for understanding that family comes first, no matter what.
Undoubtedly, life will resume and go back to the way it used to be. We'll establish a new norm that doesn't include Grandma driving her maroon buick around the corner and turning into my driveway to deliver bags of assorted candies to my kids. Those will be the moments I miss her most.
My life isn't poorer now that she's gone, but rather richer not only because I loved her but because she loved me.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Heart Attack
If you've ever thought of me as stubborn, hard headed, or determined ... I come by it honestly. My grandma is exactly the same way. My mom and I are very opposite in many ways; and in the same ways my grandma and I are very similar. Just like with me, you just have to know her to appreciate her.
Anyway - the last couple of days have been nothing less than a total whirlwind, leaving me sitting here at home on a Thursday evening hungry for a good night's sleep and a deep, meaningfull, heartfelt hug; you know, the kind that lets a person know they don't have to be strong all the time.
Monday evening, my grandma starting having some chest pains. I didn't know anything about it at this point, but by Tuesday morning, she called her family doctor for an appointment. Now, in my opinion, when the Dr's office heard the words "chest pain" they should have insisted she go to the Emergency Room. But, that's just my opinion after working on the Ambulance Service for several years and in the medical field briefly. However, I'm not a doctor. So this is all my opinion. Regardless, grandma headed for the doctor's office for her 2:30 appointment on Tuesday. She told them she was having chest pain, radiating down both arms and into her neck with accompanied nausea, shortness of breath and apparently she'd been burping too.
Now, everything but the burping are textbook symptoms for the perfect heart attack. Her doctor ran an EKG and didn't see any abnormalities (although her blood pressure was high for her) but decided to send her for bloodwork. Which wasn't ordered stat. He also told her to take Mylanta and rest.
I talked to her Tuesday night and she sounded terrible. I told her that I would come pick her up and take her to the hospital, but she said the doctor told her that his office would call with the results, so she'd just wait. Understanding her stubbornness, I surrendered and told her to call me if the pain got any worse.
Wednesday morning, I called her and she sounded better, but still not great. She said she was still having pain and the doctor's office hadn't called yet with the test results. I called my boss, told her that I would be out for a few hours, left Chas at home with an older friend whose parents live down the street and headed to pick up my grandma and take her to the ER. At that point, my mom wasn't able to leave work, since her boss was due to leave on a business trip that afternoon.
So, I rush to my grandma's house, get her in the car and head for the hospital. We get checked in and they got her back immediately, of course, since she was having chest pain. They hooked her up to the EKG machine, asked her about 2,000,000 questions and retrieved her blood work results from the night before.
Even though I knew from a clinical perspective exactly what was going on, since I was the relative (and the only one there at this point)... the emotional side of me wasn't in touch with the reality of what was happening.
The doctor did several exams on her and came back to inform us that "she's had a heart attack." He went on to explain that she'd need to go to the Heart Hospital to have some tests (which translated to a Heart Catheterization) in order to determine where the blockage(s) are and how to fix them.
Now, at this point, I was in a little bit of shock and a little bit of reality. In my mind, we'd make an appointment with a Cardiologist this week, do more testing, schedule the heart cath, get some stints and go on with life.
So, innocently, I asked "ok, so when will we need to do this?"
The doctor replied, "right now. she's going by ambulance and you can meet her there."
I tried so hard to hold the tears back, because I didn't want my grandma to see me upset or scared about this situation and cause her to be more upset, but they just flowed. I grabbed Kleenexes for both of us and as they started getting her ready to be transferred, I stepped out of the room and walked down the hall to gather my thoughts, get myself re-composed and call my mom.
I gave myself the "it's going to be ok. Dry it up buttercup" pep talk and dialed my mom's work number.
That was the end of the tears, and so far, they haven't been back; at least not in front of anyone.
My mom doesn't handle stress well. At all. So, in order to keep my mom in check and under control as much as possible, I have to maintain my composure.
Must.Remove.All.Emotion.
Must.Remove.All.Emotion.
..so far so good.
So, I tell my mom that Grandma has had a heart attack and is being transported to Carmel's St. Vincent Heart Hospital by Ambulance. Within the next 15 minutes.
We arrive at the heart hospital, get checked in and head up to our room. They get her hooked up to the machines and one of the doctors comes in to chat with her. The doctor informed us that my grandma was still having a heart attack. At this point, her heart had not yet corrected itself and damage was being done as we speak, just not sure how much at that point.
They got her sedated and into the Cath Lab pretty quickly. It took about an hour and a half for the Cardiologist to come out and let us know what was going on but he finally let us know that he wasn't able to do any stints or balloons. She has 3 major blockages at >90% blocked and will need open heart surgery in the form of a triple bypass. And soon.
But in the meantime, she had some suspicion of internal G.I. bleeding (possibly ulcer related) that needed to be figured out before they could complete the bypass.
So yesterday, she had an upper G.I.scope and found no active bleeding, followed by today's colonoscopy with no active bleeding. So she was released for the open heart surgery. We didn't get a chance to see the Surgeon today, but will hopefully meet with him tomorrow to understand how soon we will be doing surgery. I anticipate that it will be Monday.
Helping take care of her after her surgery is another piece that we will have to make decisions about; whether it is rotating family care or putting her in a rehab facility for a couple of weeks.
In the meantime, we have my grandpa (her husband) who had a stroke several years ago and has cancer that cannot be further treated... so he's unable to drive and doesn't think completely straight all the time. He and my grandma live together, and for the most part, grandma takes care of him.
So now what do we do with Grandpa?
So far, he's doing really well with everything. He's not a total invalid, he gets around just fine and if you met him on the street, you probably wouldn't know he has any kind of health issues; but the reality is ... he does. And we cannot forget that.
There are a lot of decisions that will need to be made in the coming days. My mom is my grandparents' only living child. And I, the oldest grandchild (and only granddaughter). I have a cousin that is a couple of years younger than me, but he has a very hectic work schedule so probably won't be available to help out a ton.
But he's willing.
...and my mom doesn't handle stress well, remember?
So... I guess this situation is certainly preparing me for any kind of care needs that my mom may have some day, since I too, am an only child and will be left taking care of her on my own.
I won't lie. I obviously haven't slept well. And have only remembered to eat once each day. Seems my mind is wandering into other places. Remember that hug I needed? A sign of weakness or a human need? I'm not real sure. For now, I continue to "maintain" the best I can and continue to lead my normal life of work, children and extracurricular activities like I always do, while another part of my world completely stopped spinning and began rotating in the opposite direction as I picked up two more responsibilities since Tuesday... Grandma and Grandpa.
I've already decided that if the need arises and my grandma will agree to stay with me during her recovery, I will take on that responsibility. Not only for logistical purposes (the fact that I can work from home, my kids can maintain normalcy at home, etc) but also for love. Is there any greater love than that which my grandma has shown me all these years?
The reality is, regardless of Grandma's recovery from this heart situation, she isn't going to live forever. And at 75 years old, while still young, she is knocking on some of the final decades of her life. What an honor it would be for me to spend that time with her returning the favor that she gave me in the 31 years that I've been in her life.
Until then, I'll be playin' it cool... all "tough-girl"... seeming to not be phased by what's going on. Don't let me fool you. Your prayers for continued strength for me to exhibit for my family, healing for my grandma, and wisdom for the medical professionals that are responsible for her care would be greatly appreciated.
Anyway - the last couple of days have been nothing less than a total whirlwind, leaving me sitting here at home on a Thursday evening hungry for a good night's sleep and a deep, meaningfull, heartfelt hug; you know, the kind that lets a person know they don't have to be strong all the time.
Monday evening, my grandma starting having some chest pains. I didn't know anything about it at this point, but by Tuesday morning, she called her family doctor for an appointment. Now, in my opinion, when the Dr's office heard the words "chest pain" they should have insisted she go to the Emergency Room. But, that's just my opinion after working on the Ambulance Service for several years and in the medical field briefly. However, I'm not a doctor. So this is all my opinion. Regardless, grandma headed for the doctor's office for her 2:30 appointment on Tuesday. She told them she was having chest pain, radiating down both arms and into her neck with accompanied nausea, shortness of breath and apparently she'd been burping too.
Now, everything but the burping are textbook symptoms for the perfect heart attack. Her doctor ran an EKG and didn't see any abnormalities (although her blood pressure was high for her) but decided to send her for bloodwork. Which wasn't ordered stat. He also told her to take Mylanta and rest.
I talked to her Tuesday night and she sounded terrible. I told her that I would come pick her up and take her to the hospital, but she said the doctor told her that his office would call with the results, so she'd just wait. Understanding her stubbornness, I surrendered and told her to call me if the pain got any worse.
Wednesday morning, I called her and she sounded better, but still not great. She said she was still having pain and the doctor's office hadn't called yet with the test results. I called my boss, told her that I would be out for a few hours, left Chas at home with an older friend whose parents live down the street and headed to pick up my grandma and take her to the ER. At that point, my mom wasn't able to leave work, since her boss was due to leave on a business trip that afternoon.
So, I rush to my grandma's house, get her in the car and head for the hospital. We get checked in and they got her back immediately, of course, since she was having chest pain. They hooked her up to the EKG machine, asked her about 2,000,000 questions and retrieved her blood work results from the night before.
Even though I knew from a clinical perspective exactly what was going on, since I was the relative (and the only one there at this point)... the emotional side of me wasn't in touch with the reality of what was happening.
The doctor did several exams on her and came back to inform us that "she's had a heart attack." He went on to explain that she'd need to go to the Heart Hospital to have some tests (which translated to a Heart Catheterization) in order to determine where the blockage(s) are and how to fix them.
Now, at this point, I was in a little bit of shock and a little bit of reality. In my mind, we'd make an appointment with a Cardiologist this week, do more testing, schedule the heart cath, get some stints and go on with life.
So, innocently, I asked "ok, so when will we need to do this?"
The doctor replied, "right now. she's going by ambulance and you can meet her there."
I tried so hard to hold the tears back, because I didn't want my grandma to see me upset or scared about this situation and cause her to be more upset, but they just flowed. I grabbed Kleenexes for both of us and as they started getting her ready to be transferred, I stepped out of the room and walked down the hall to gather my thoughts, get myself re-composed and call my mom.
I gave myself the "it's going to be ok. Dry it up buttercup" pep talk and dialed my mom's work number.
That was the end of the tears, and so far, they haven't been back; at least not in front of anyone.
My mom doesn't handle stress well. At all. So, in order to keep my mom in check and under control as much as possible, I have to maintain my composure.
Must.Remove.All.Emotion.
Must.Remove.All.Emotion.
..so far so good.
So, I tell my mom that Grandma has had a heart attack and is being transported to Carmel's St. Vincent Heart Hospital by Ambulance. Within the next 15 minutes.
We arrive at the heart hospital, get checked in and head up to our room. They get her hooked up to the machines and one of the doctors comes in to chat with her. The doctor informed us that my grandma was still having a heart attack. At this point, her heart had not yet corrected itself and damage was being done as we speak, just not sure how much at that point.
They got her sedated and into the Cath Lab pretty quickly. It took about an hour and a half for the Cardiologist to come out and let us know what was going on but he finally let us know that he wasn't able to do any stints or balloons. She has 3 major blockages at >90% blocked and will need open heart surgery in the form of a triple bypass. And soon.
But in the meantime, she had some suspicion of internal G.I. bleeding (possibly ulcer related) that needed to be figured out before they could complete the bypass.
So yesterday, she had an upper G.I.scope and found no active bleeding, followed by today's colonoscopy with no active bleeding. So she was released for the open heart surgery. We didn't get a chance to see the Surgeon today, but will hopefully meet with him tomorrow to understand how soon we will be doing surgery. I anticipate that it will be Monday.
Helping take care of her after her surgery is another piece that we will have to make decisions about; whether it is rotating family care or putting her in a rehab facility for a couple of weeks.
In the meantime, we have my grandpa (her husband) who had a stroke several years ago and has cancer that cannot be further treated... so he's unable to drive and doesn't think completely straight all the time. He and my grandma live together, and for the most part, grandma takes care of him.
So now what do we do with Grandpa?
So far, he's doing really well with everything. He's not a total invalid, he gets around just fine and if you met him on the street, you probably wouldn't know he has any kind of health issues; but the reality is ... he does. And we cannot forget that.
There are a lot of decisions that will need to be made in the coming days. My mom is my grandparents' only living child. And I, the oldest grandchild (and only granddaughter). I have a cousin that is a couple of years younger than me, but he has a very hectic work schedule so probably won't be available to help out a ton.
But he's willing.
...and my mom doesn't handle stress well, remember?
So... I guess this situation is certainly preparing me for any kind of care needs that my mom may have some day, since I too, am an only child and will be left taking care of her on my own.
I won't lie. I obviously haven't slept well. And have only remembered to eat once each day. Seems my mind is wandering into other places. Remember that hug I needed? A sign of weakness or a human need? I'm not real sure. For now, I continue to "maintain" the best I can and continue to lead my normal life of work, children and extracurricular activities like I always do, while another part of my world completely stopped spinning and began rotating in the opposite direction as I picked up two more responsibilities since Tuesday... Grandma and Grandpa.
I've already decided that if the need arises and my grandma will agree to stay with me during her recovery, I will take on that responsibility. Not only for logistical purposes (the fact that I can work from home, my kids can maintain normalcy at home, etc) but also for love. Is there any greater love than that which my grandma has shown me all these years?
The reality is, regardless of Grandma's recovery from this heart situation, she isn't going to live forever. And at 75 years old, while still young, she is knocking on some of the final decades of her life. What an honor it would be for me to spend that time with her returning the favor that she gave me in the 31 years that I've been in her life.
Until then, I'll be playin' it cool... all "tough-girl"... seeming to not be phased by what's going on. Don't let me fool you. Your prayers for continued strength for me to exhibit for my family, healing for my grandma, and wisdom for the medical professionals that are responsible for her care would be greatly appreciated.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Try It Before You Buy It
I'm typically one of those people that tends to err on the side of caution before making any major purchases. Rarely do I make a split second decision, especially when it comes to spending money.
So, I've recently been intrigued by The North Face jackets. A couple of my friends own them and despite the fact that they are way overpriced for what I would pay for almost anything... I didn't really know much of anything else about them.
So, I started casually talking to my the people that own them, asking if they like them, etc. I just needed to fully understand the concept of spending that much money... on a jacket. Everyone said it was worth the money. Well, worth the money to one person may not be the same as me. One of my friends even commented that her husband gave her permission recently to buy another one because he knows she gets her money's worth out of it. Hmm... that got me thinking.
Now, because I'm very self conscious of "the girls" (if you know what I mean)... i tend to wear a lot of hoody-jackets over my clothes to hide them... as much as possible. Here lately with the cold weather, I'm wearing the jackets/hoodies more often; especially as it's not cold enough yet for a full winter coat, but still brisk.
This past weekend, Chas had an evening football game when it was supposed to be pretty cold. I figured it would be a good time to "test drive" one of my friend's North Face coats to see if it was worth the money. So, I asked to borrow one for the weekend and headed to the game, no longer a North Face Virgin.
Yea, I went there.
Anyway...
I sat there, cozied up in the jacket, a scarf and my hat and stayed warm the entire time.
I have to admit... I was almost completely sold.
So, I kept the jacket for a couple more days... I mean... if I"m going to drop $100+ on a 'jacket'... i better do everything but shower in it.
The jacket and I really became close over the last few days. We hung out a lot. I was able to depend on the jacket to keep me at the appropriate temperature, no matter what the weather.
By Sunday...
I was sold.
So, I went and bought one myself. I had a couple of photo shoots last week; enough to use that extra money to pay for the jacket and not even miss the expense. I still cannot believe I spent that much on a jacket. And further, cannot believe I didn't buy it on clearance. I rarely pay full price for anything, so I'm still trying to tame the nervous twitches that I've been experiencing since I faced the fact that I actually bought a North Face Jacket.
There is a strong possibility, that the next time you see me... I will be wearing it.
Don't judge.
So, I've recently been intrigued by The North Face jackets. A couple of my friends own them and despite the fact that they are way overpriced for what I would pay for almost anything... I didn't really know much of anything else about them.
So, I started casually talking to my the people that own them, asking if they like them, etc. I just needed to fully understand the concept of spending that much money... on a jacket. Everyone said it was worth the money. Well, worth the money to one person may not be the same as me. One of my friends even commented that her husband gave her permission recently to buy another one because he knows she gets her money's worth out of it. Hmm... that got me thinking.
Now, because I'm very self conscious of "the girls" (if you know what I mean)... i tend to wear a lot of hoody-jackets over my clothes to hide them... as much as possible. Here lately with the cold weather, I'm wearing the jackets/hoodies more often; especially as it's not cold enough yet for a full winter coat, but still brisk.
This past weekend, Chas had an evening football game when it was supposed to be pretty cold. I figured it would be a good time to "test drive" one of my friend's North Face coats to see if it was worth the money. So, I asked to borrow one for the weekend and headed to the game, no longer a North Face Virgin.
Yea, I went there.
Anyway...
I sat there, cozied up in the jacket, a scarf and my hat and stayed warm the entire time.
I have to admit... I was almost completely sold.
So, I kept the jacket for a couple more days... I mean... if I"m going to drop $100+ on a 'jacket'... i better do everything but shower in it.
The jacket and I really became close over the last few days. We hung out a lot. I was able to depend on the jacket to keep me at the appropriate temperature, no matter what the weather.
By Sunday...
I was sold.
So, I went and bought one myself. I had a couple of photo shoots last week; enough to use that extra money to pay for the jacket and not even miss the expense. I still cannot believe I spent that much on a jacket. And further, cannot believe I didn't buy it on clearance. I rarely pay full price for anything, so I'm still trying to tame the nervous twitches that I've been experiencing since I faced the fact that I actually bought a North Face Jacket.
There is a strong possibility, that the next time you see me... I will be wearing it.
Don't judge.
The Weekend
This weekend was a busy weekend, but a good one, nonetheless. Friday evening, the kids and I picked Joe's son up from his parents' house and headed to Conner Prairie to meet him after work and spend the evening at the fall events on the prairie. We spent a couple of hours there walking around, riding on the headless horseman wagon ride, making smores, watching some science experiments, etc. The weather was great and the company was even better.
Saturday morning, I got up pretty early and got Bek packed for camping with her Aunt. Chas had a football game at noon and the 80's Ladies and I had planned a surprise baby shower for Jenny at 2... so needless to say, my morning was spent running my children to their destinations and heading to Fishers to pick up the cake and a few other items to help Allison prepare for Jenny's shower. The guest of honor arrived and we all enjoyed catching up on everything, eating some yummy veggies and fruit... and of course large pieces of cake. We also got our Christmas Exchange planning started and are looking forward to getting ready for that in just over a month!!
After all the morning and early afternoon festivities, I met a sweet family in the park and spent about an hour photographing their family then headed home to shower. I ended up spending the evening with Joe and his little boy watching a movie and eating pizza.
Sunday, I taught the kiddies at church and then headed home to get some cleaning done, as my house desperately needed it. I met another dear family at Mounds State Park for family pictures yesterday afternoon, which turned out really well. It's so pretty back in the woods... it made me want to pack up the kids and take a nice little nature walk.
But no.
That would not be possible as my sweet, intelligent, charming and almost perfect son forgot about a project that is due on Tuesday.
Yes, tomorrow.
And he has a late game tonight in Fishers.
So guess what Sunday evening turned into? You guessed it! A mad rush of completing said project before bedtime. Talk about frustrating.
Tonight, I'm off to parent teacher conferences for both kids, then headed to Fisher's to the Football game. This is the last week of football and so i'm trying to be a good sport (pun fully intended there)... however it's becoming difficult with the homework and games. I have to remind myself often about how much I will miss this someday.
In an upcoming blog, I will be discussing The North Face jackets.
...stay tuned.
Saturday morning, I got up pretty early and got Bek packed for camping with her Aunt. Chas had a football game at noon and the 80's Ladies and I had planned a surprise baby shower for Jenny at 2... so needless to say, my morning was spent running my children to their destinations and heading to Fishers to pick up the cake and a few other items to help Allison prepare for Jenny's shower. The guest of honor arrived and we all enjoyed catching up on everything, eating some yummy veggies and fruit... and of course large pieces of cake. We also got our Christmas Exchange planning started and are looking forward to getting ready for that in just over a month!!
After all the morning and early afternoon festivities, I met a sweet family in the park and spent about an hour photographing their family then headed home to shower. I ended up spending the evening with Joe and his little boy watching a movie and eating pizza.
Sunday, I taught the kiddies at church and then headed home to get some cleaning done, as my house desperately needed it. I met another dear family at Mounds State Park for family pictures yesterday afternoon, which turned out really well. It's so pretty back in the woods... it made me want to pack up the kids and take a nice little nature walk.
But no.
That would not be possible as my sweet, intelligent, charming and almost perfect son forgot about a project that is due on Tuesday.
Yes, tomorrow.
And he has a late game tonight in Fishers.
So guess what Sunday evening turned into? You guessed it! A mad rush of completing said project before bedtime. Talk about frustrating.
Tonight, I'm off to parent teacher conferences for both kids, then headed to Fisher's to the Football game. This is the last week of football and so i'm trying to be a good sport (pun fully intended there)... however it's becoming difficult with the homework and games. I have to remind myself often about how much I will miss this someday.
In an upcoming blog, I will be discussing The North Face jackets.
...stay tuned.
Friday, October 21, 2011
It was Time
I took the day off today to dspend with my girl on a Field Trip to Minnetrista in Muncie. After the field trip, I decided that it was time to have my car cleaned out. And when I say "cleaned out" ... I mean, by someone that is not me professionals. I'd hauled a bale of straw to my house a few weeks ago and still had remnants of it on the floor boards of my car. Mix that with some spilled chips from the other night's football game and you have... well... my car.
So, I decided to take it to Bob's Car Wash and get "Full Service" for $18. Yes, I could've saved the $18 and used the little hose thing to vacuum the floors, but by the time I got the car cleaned out enough to take it to the Full Service place... I just wasn't in the mood.
Yes, I said cleaned out enough to take it to the Full Service.
Is that bad?
... that I had to clean out my car in order to get it cleaned out?
To those of you that know and love me, that statement won't surprise you in the least. Most likely, you're feeling a range of emotions from disgust, empathy, amusement, sadness and wonder.
Believe me.
I feel the same way.
How can I manage to raise two half-way-normal children, yet never ever ever manage to keep my car in an acceptable condition? I cannot answer that either.
But I feel your pain. As I was spending a good five to ten minutes pre-cleaning my car, I was shaking my head at myself, wondering HOW this happens!? I try so, so hard!!
But I'm good at other things, right?
Surely I can score some points there?!?
So, I take her to the car wash and get in the little conveyor belt thing and ride through the car wash. At the end, they motion for me to pull over to the full service area. I exit my car and try to keep my 'cool' composure about the crap all over the floor.
...almost as though I didn't realize it was there until JUST THEN. I made a comment like, "Do you want me to get all that stuff out, or just put it on the seat?"
I'm pretty sure the guy said he'd put it all in the back.
I didn't have the heart to tell him the back was nearly full. Surely they'd seen something as obnoxious as this before.
Doesn't everyone have:
-folding chairs, blankets and pom-poms for football games.
-books and baby dolls to keep the little sister occupied during said football games
-books to keep the mom occupied whilst waiting for said football games.
-trucks that the football player transports from pappaws to daddy's and back to my house
-a box of capri suns because ... well ... you just never know, ok?
You get the drift.
There was a lot of stuff.
Now, I am not in any position to judge, but I have to set the stage here.
The people that were waiting to clean out my car... God love them.... they humbled me.
I'm sitting there, a woman with a good job, a pretty nice car, etc - and I pull in, after paying $18 for someone else to do something for me that I can clearly do... and these people are there to clean up my mess.
I don't know their story. We all have one, and theirs, I do not know. However... they seemed to be people that took a lot of pride in their work and were probably just thankful to have a job; period.
I watched through the mirrored glass as they efficiently cleaned out my car. Treating it as if it was their own vehicle that needed cleaned. And I thought about the fact that I think sometimes, well - probably more than sometimes, I take my blessings for granted.
It was a HUGE eye opener for me; primarily because I am so thankful for everything that I have, but sometimes I may not appreciate it as much as I should. And additionally because, no matter how much those people cleaning my car make per hour, they were just happy to have a job. Shouldn't we all be that way?
So, I decided to take it to Bob's Car Wash and get "Full Service" for $18. Yes, I could've saved the $18 and used the little hose thing to vacuum the floors, but by the time I got the car cleaned out enough to take it to the Full Service place... I just wasn't in the mood.
Yes, I said cleaned out enough to take it to the Full Service.
Is that bad?
... that I had to clean out my car in order to get it cleaned out?
To those of you that know and love me, that statement won't surprise you in the least. Most likely, you're feeling a range of emotions from disgust, empathy, amusement, sadness and wonder.
Believe me.
I feel the same way.
How can I manage to raise two half-way-normal children, yet never ever ever manage to keep my car in an acceptable condition? I cannot answer that either.
But I feel your pain. As I was spending a good five to ten minutes pre-cleaning my car, I was shaking my head at myself, wondering HOW this happens!? I try so, so hard!!
But I'm good at other things, right?
Surely I can score some points there?!?
So, I take her to the car wash and get in the little conveyor belt thing and ride through the car wash. At the end, they motion for me to pull over to the full service area. I exit my car and try to keep my 'cool' composure about the crap all over the floor.
...almost as though I didn't realize it was there until JUST THEN. I made a comment like, "Do you want me to get all that stuff out, or just put it on the seat?"
I'm pretty sure the guy said he'd put it all in the back.
I didn't have the heart to tell him the back was nearly full. Surely they'd seen something as obnoxious as this before.
Doesn't everyone have:
-folding chairs, blankets and pom-poms for football games.
-books and baby dolls to keep the little sister occupied during said football games
-books to keep the mom occupied whilst waiting for said football games.
-trucks that the football player transports from pappaws to daddy's and back to my house
-a box of capri suns because ... well ... you just never know, ok?
You get the drift.
There was a lot of stuff.
Now, I am not in any position to judge, but I have to set the stage here.
The people that were waiting to clean out my car... God love them.... they humbled me.
I'm sitting there, a woman with a good job, a pretty nice car, etc - and I pull in, after paying $18 for someone else to do something for me that I can clearly do... and these people are there to clean up my mess.
I don't know their story. We all have one, and theirs, I do not know. However... they seemed to be people that took a lot of pride in their work and were probably just thankful to have a job; period.
I watched through the mirrored glass as they efficiently cleaned out my car. Treating it as if it was their own vehicle that needed cleaned. And I thought about the fact that I think sometimes, well - probably more than sometimes, I take my blessings for granted.
It was a HUGE eye opener for me; primarily because I am so thankful for everything that I have, but sometimes I may not appreciate it as much as I should. And additionally because, no matter how much those people cleaning my car make per hour, they were just happy to have a job. Shouldn't we all be that way?
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