Tabloids and Newspaper Articles

When I was younger and beginning to think about my future career, I tossed around several ideas - Psychologist, Manager, Nurse, Mediator, Journalist, etc. 

I vividly remember wishing someday that I could be the editor of a major magazine.  The name at the top of the list when you open the first few pages.  I'd write a monthly column/article from The Editor and it would be so much fun.

Thankfully, that never came to fruition.  I don't think I could be a writer 24/7 - or anything more than a hobby to be exact.

..but let me tell you right now - I can write a KILLER Tabloid for you.

Kinda odd, huh?

Let me explain.

Several years ago, I attended a Seminar at work with a guest speaker who spoke of leadership, efficiency, and motivation.  I would pay a great deal of money to go hear her speak again.  She presented the idea of the "Newspaper Article" verses the "Tabloid" - and it stuck with me like glue.

So, a Newspaper article is typically written with factual information (hang in there with me, some may oppose) - but for the most part - Newspaper articles are written with the basis of factual information.  No extra bulk, just the facts.

A Tabloid, is a very, very lonnnnnnnnnnnnnng stretch of a truth to the point where sometimes, it carries so much circumstantial evidence that it is ALMOST believable.

Let me tell you, as much as I LOVE the theory of, "Is it a newspaper article or a tabloid?"... I am guilty as charged for not practicing what I preach to myself.  I typically only find this to be a real issue in my life when it comes to relationships.  And I don't necessarily mean just romantic relationships; I mean all kinds of relationships with friends, family, lovers, etc.

I can write a meannnnnn tabloid.

I'm going to go ahead and tattle on myself a little here (not airing dirty laundry, but hopefully you can relate a little bit and at the very least laugh at how STUPID this is.)

So, last night My Better Half came over and we fell asleep on the couch.  About 1:30 in the morning, I heard my daughter yell for me, so I went to lay with her so she'd go back to sleep.  A couple of minutes later, I heard footsteps to my front door, it shut and he had left.  I texted him "I'm sorry."   And never heard back.

(I know, sad sad story. Anyone need a tissue yet?)  ha!

So, simple and innocent story.

I was literally sitting... well laying in bed thinking about this for NO LESS than 30 minutes.... writing a friggen tabloid.

Here was the tabloid that I was writing:

     "Oh my gosh, I can't believe he just left!  I was only in here for like 8 minutes.  I was getting ready to go back out there.  Surely he doesn't expect me to choose him OVER my kids!  I mean, I am very understanding when it comes to his little boy.  Seriously?  He left!!!  And now, he's not texting me back.  Great, he's probably driving home thinking about how we can never work out because my daughter is so needy.  But I swear, she'll out grow it.  I mean, she has to, right?  Well, you know what-  if he doesn't care about me enough to get through this little spell with her, then I guess I don't need him around.  But then i'll be sad if he's not around :(.  Because we really have fun together!  And if we do work out, sure we'll always have kids, but they won't live with us forever!  The majority of our lives will be left with eachother, not with 3 kids running around.  I wonder if he's ever thought of this?  I can't believe he's not texting me back!!!  He probably won't call in the morning on his way to work.  If he doesn't, then I'll just "know" that he can't handle my family and I guess i will have to accept that I may never find someone to be with because of my kids...."

Stupid, huh?

And even if he was feeling that way,  I had no way to prove it, so why stress about it at 2 a.m.

So, i started coaching myself through the Newspaper Article process....

Me to Self: What are the facts that you know and can prove about this situation?

Self:  Well, i was laying with him on the couch.  Bek yelled for me.  I layed with her for about 8 minutes.  He left.  I texted.

Me to Self:  Ok, so did he say that he was mad?

Self: Well, no.

Me to Self:  Did he say that he did not want to be with you?

Self: Well, no.

Me to Self:  Is there anything you can do about it if he decides this relationship isn't right for him?

Self: Actually, no.  I guess not!  I would want him to be happy, no matter what.

Me to Self:  Ok, then what in the HECK is your problem, woman!?

Self:  Well, I don't know.

Me to Self:  Alright, then go to sleep.


And so that was the end of it.  I went to sleep, I got up this morning, he called like normal.  Assured me he wasn't mad (maybe he's fibbing!?  - there goes the Tabloid again!) and life went on as normal.

I write tabloids ALL THE TIME.

..about the dumbest things!  I find myself often having to stop and rewind the conversation to only the facts and then determine if I need to puruse getting additional facts, or just letting it be.

Surely I'm not the only person with a PhD in Tabloid Jounalism?!