The Lucky One

12 Years ago this Christmas break is when I got terribly sick, went to the Med Check, received a Prescription for an antibiotic (Biaxin) and went along my Merry little way; happy that another semester of College classes were over and ready to relax with my friends and family over the holidays.

Ever heard of the "gift" that keeps on giving?

In all my infinite 19 year old wisdom, I was not aware that antibiotics cancel out birth control pills.

And so the story of my sweet son was written over that Christmas break.  Mid-January I found out that I was going to be a mom and by September 11th... the Thief of My Heart was placed into my arms and well....

...that's certainly the gift that keeps on giving!

Not one Christmas goes by that I don't think of that situation, how the plans for my future came to a screeching halt when I saw a (+) sign.  Gone were the days of College Calculus where (+) signs meant something significant in a mathematical equation.

(+) meant baby.  And that meant I had a great deal of growing up to do.... and FAST.

It wasn't the end of the world, in fact it was the beginning of a different world that dug deep into my core and taught me way more about "life" in the 11 years that have followed than I ever would've learned from a textbook and a pre-planned-trouble-free life that I had hoped for myself at that point.

***

I always wanted a big family.  3 or 4 kids... a nice home... good job... (never really was the stay-at-home-mom type) and a husband that loved me.

A few years ago, after having some female issues,  I decided that I wasn't quite ready to do anything permanent to prevent future children.

I was open to the possibility of getting married someday, and if my husband wanted children, as a woman, I'd provide.

But I knew that I didn't want to wait too long, because my kids would be getting older as well and I didn't want to start over with a new baby when my older children were almost grown.

So, I chose the 5-year plan for Birth Control.  It helped solve my female issues without doing anything permanently and I knew if I didn't have another baby within 5 years, I wasn't interested.

Finally about 18 months ago, I decided that I was at peace with the fact that I was not having any more children.  Admittedly, it was a bit tough to swallow (not that i'm not thankful for the 2 I have)... but I absolutely love the way it feels to be pregnant, bonding with a sweet human being that you created.

And I'll never have that again.

I decided that if I were to ever have any more kids, they'd already have been born; meaning that I'd be very open to loving 'bonus' children (i don't like the word 'step'), but there would be no more children coming from this momma!

Since making that decision, I've had such an immense amount of joy watching some of my dearest friends become mothers.

Whenever I need a baby-fix, I simply call up one of my friends that has a baby, head to her house, feed the baby a bottle, change a few diapers, take a few pictures maybe buy it something fun and baby-like and then...

(this is the best part)....

I get to go home!!!!!

Yes, that sweet place called home... sans baby.

And watching my friends morph from women to mothers....?

Priceless.

I know the feeling...  the feeling only a mom has when she looks at her child that is just absolutely the definition of near-perfection.

Been there.  Done that.

I'm not sure what age that changes, but I will tell you that my 11 year old son stinks, is rude and makes noises out of his body that no one should.

He is no longer near-perfection.

(So... enjoy while you can ladies) haha.

Thank Goodness for Unconditional Love.... that boy better be thankful!




I love watching my mom-friends get excited at first words, first steps, first this, first that....  it's so sweet.  And thankfully, my kids are over their monumental firsts, so I'm not busy worrying about my own kids' firsts... i get to experience those fun things with everyone else's babies.

Can it get any better?


This weekend, I found out from one of my sweetest friends that has been battling infertility for almost 2 years that...

they are expecting.

Not to sound obsessed ... but I almost was in tears because of the overflowing happiness I had for this sweet family.

Thank Goodness I have not experienced infertility, but I know from being on the journey with her over the last 2 years that it is heart wrenching.  I felt her pain so many times and wished so much that I could just give her another baby to love.

And now....

prayers answered.

She goes today for her ultrasound to confirm that everything is ok and i'm pretty sure I feel like I'm the mom waiting to see my baby!  I am just so over-the-moon excited for her.

Yet another baby to love.



Being a mom so young was definitely not the way that I had my life planned, but I am so, so thankful that I have the opportunity to share in the joy of my friends who are having their children now.


So, this Thanksgiving week, I'm especially thankful for my own sweet Children who didn't arrive in the package I had "planned" in my head, but arrived packaged straight from God's plan and right into my life.  What a priviledge it is, to be their mother.

I'm thankful for my sweet guy and his little boy who absolutely melts my heart when he wants me to cuddle with him.  What more could a 'mom' ask for than acceptance from a child that doesn't have to? 

...and all of my dear friends who have (or are going to have very soon...) the cutest little babies that will let me feed them, change their diaper, love on them, tell them how perfect they are and then run like the wind when they start crying :)

I'm the lucky one.