Heart Attack

If you've ever thought of me as stubborn, hard headed, or determined ... I come by it honestly.  My grandma is exactly the same way.  My mom and I are very opposite in many ways; and in the same ways my grandma and I are very similar.  Just like with me, you just have to know her to appreciate her. 

Anyway - the last couple of days have been nothing less than a total whirlwind, leaving me sitting here at home on a Thursday evening hungry for a good night's sleep and a deep, meaningfull, heartfelt hug; you know, the kind that lets a person know they don't have to be strong all the time.

Monday evening, my grandma starting having some chest pains.  I didn't know anything about it at this point, but by Tuesday morning, she called her family doctor for an appointment.  Now, in my opinion, when the Dr's office heard the words "chest pain" they should have insisted she go to the Emergency Room.  But, that's just my opinion after working on the Ambulance Service for several years and in the medical field briefly.  However, I'm not a doctor.  So this is all my opinion.  Regardless, grandma headed for the doctor's office for her 2:30 appointment on Tuesday.  She told them she was having chest pain, radiating down both arms and into her neck with accompanied nausea, shortness of breath and apparently she'd been burping too.

Now, everything but the burping are textbook symptoms for the perfect heart attack.  Her doctor ran an EKG and didn't see any abnormalities (although her blood pressure was high for her) but decided to send her for bloodwork.  Which wasn't ordered stat.  He also told her to take Mylanta and rest.

I talked to her Tuesday night and she sounded terrible.  I told her that I would come pick her up and take her to the hospital, but she said the doctor told her that his office would call with the results, so she'd just wait.  Understanding her stubbornness, I surrendered and told her to call me if the pain got any worse.

Wednesday morning, I called her and she sounded better, but still not great.  She said she was still having pain and the doctor's office hadn't called yet with the test results.  I called my boss, told her that I would be out for a few hours, left Chas at home with an older friend whose parents live down the street and headed to pick up my grandma and take her to the ER.  At that point, my mom wasn't able to leave work, since her boss was due to leave on a business trip that afternoon.

So, I rush to my grandma's house, get her in the car and head for the hospital.  We get checked in and they got her back immediately, of course, since she was having chest pain.  They hooked her up to the EKG machine, asked her about 2,000,000 questions and retrieved her blood work results from the night before.

Even though I knew from a clinical perspective exactly what was going on, since I was the relative (and the only one there at this point)... the emotional side of me wasn't in touch with the reality of what was happening.

The doctor did several exams on her and came back to inform us that "she's had a heart attack."   He went on to explain that she'd need to go to the Heart Hospital to have some tests (which translated to a Heart Catheterization) in order to determine where the blockage(s) are and how to fix them.

Now, at this point, I was in a little bit of shock and a little bit of reality.  In my mind, we'd make an appointment with a Cardiologist this week, do more testing, schedule the heart cath, get some stints and go on with life.

So, innocently, I asked "ok, so when will we need to do this?"

The doctor replied, "right now.  she's going by ambulance and you can meet her there."

I tried so hard to hold the tears back, because I didn't want my grandma to see me upset or scared about this situation and cause her to be more upset, but they just flowed.  I grabbed Kleenexes for both of us and as they started getting her ready to be transferred, I stepped out of the room and walked down the hall to gather my thoughts, get myself re-composed and call my mom.

I gave myself the "it's going to be ok.  Dry it up buttercup" pep talk and dialed my mom's work number.

That was the end of the tears, and so far, they haven't been back; at least not in front of anyone.

My mom doesn't handle stress well.  At all.  So, in order to keep my mom in check and under control as much as possible, I have to maintain my composure. 

Must.Remove.All.Emotion.

Must.Remove.All.Emotion.

..so far so good.


So, I tell my mom that Grandma has had a heart attack and is being transported to Carmel's St. Vincent Heart Hospital by Ambulance.  Within the next 15 minutes. 

We arrive at the heart hospital, get checked in and head up to our room.  They get her hooked up to the machines and one of the doctors comes in to chat with her.  The doctor informed us that my grandma was still having a heart attack.  At this point, her heart had not yet corrected itself and damage was being done as we speak, just not sure how much at that point.

They got her sedated and  into the Cath Lab pretty quickly.  It took about an hour and a half for the Cardiologist to come out and let us know what was going on but he finally let us know that he wasn't able to do any stints or balloons.  She has 3 major blockages at >90% blocked and will need open heart surgery in the form of a triple bypass.  And soon.

But in the meantime, she had some suspicion of internal G.I. bleeding (possibly ulcer related) that needed to be figured out before they could complete the bypass.

So yesterday, she had an upper G.I.scope and found no active bleeding, followed by today's colonoscopy with no active bleeding.  So she was released for the open heart surgery.  We didn't get a chance to see the Surgeon today, but will hopefully meet with him tomorrow to understand how soon we will be doing surgery.  I anticipate that it will be Monday.

Helping take care of her after her surgery is another piece that we will have to make decisions about; whether it is rotating family care or putting her in a rehab facility for a couple of weeks.

In the meantime, we have my grandpa (her husband) who had a stroke several years ago and has cancer that cannot be further treated... so he's unable to drive and doesn't think completely straight all the time.  He and my grandma live together, and for the most part, grandma takes care of him.

So now what do we do with Grandpa?

So far, he's doing really well with everything.  He's not a total invalid, he gets around just fine and if you met him on the street, you probably wouldn't know he has any kind of health issues; but the reality is ... he does.  And we cannot forget that.

There are a lot of decisions that will need to be made in the coming days.  My mom is my grandparents' only living child.  And I, the oldest grandchild (and only granddaughter).  I have a cousin that is a couple of years younger than me, but he has a very hectic work schedule so probably won't be available to help out a ton.

But he's willing.

...and my mom doesn't handle stress well, remember?

So... I guess this situation is certainly preparing me for any kind of care needs that my mom may have some day, since I too, am an only child and will be left taking care of her on my own.

I won't lie.  I obviously haven't slept well.  And have only remembered to eat once each day.  Seems my mind is wandering into other places.  Remember that hug I needed?  A sign of weakness or a human need?  I'm not real sure.  For now, I continue to "maintain" the best I can and continue to lead my normal life of work, children and extracurricular activities like I always do, while another part of my world completely stopped spinning and began rotating in the opposite direction as I picked up two more responsibilities since Tuesday... Grandma and Grandpa. 

I've already decided that if the need arises and my grandma will agree to stay with me during her recovery, I will take on that responsibility.  Not only for logistical purposes (the fact that I can work from home, my kids can maintain normalcy at home, etc) but also for love.  Is there any greater love than that which my grandma has shown me all these years? 

The reality is, regardless of Grandma's recovery from this heart situation, she isn't going to live forever.  And at 75 years old, while still young, she is knocking on some of the final decades of her life.  What an honor it would be for me to spend that time with her returning the favor that she gave me in the 31 years that I've been in her life.

Until then, I'll be playin' it cool... all "tough-girl"... seeming to not be phased by what's going on.  Don't let me fool you.  Your prayers for continued strength for me to exhibit for my family, healing for my grandma, and wisdom for the medical professionals that are responsible for her care would be greatly appreciated.