Because She Loved Me

A Few Things I learned from my Grandma:

1.) It's ok to believe whatever you want to believe.  Just stand by what you believe, no matter what.

2.) Always, always.... stand by your family.  Even when they make mistakes, be there for them.

3.) Homemade buttercream icing is the best.  And it's easy to make; if you just watch Grandma.

4.) Offer your humble assistance, but don't force it.  Let people know that you're willing, but if they don't accept your help, let it be.

5.) Be prepared.  For everything.  Worry enough to make you prepared in case "anything happens"; if that time ever comes, no matter what the situation.... your family will thank you.

6.) Put others first, think of their needs often, but do not, under any circumstances EVER allow ANYONE to walk all over you.  Be tough.

7.) It's ok to have way too much furniture and "stuff".  Even if it feels like your house is never fully cleaned and picked up; if all that furniture makes you happy, for whatever reason... that's ok.  Just be happy.  And proud.

8.)  A new bedspread really does make a difference.  Don't worry if you have more bed spreads than days of the month.  Just be happy.

9.) A necklace, rings or a good bracelet makes any outfit better.

10.) Take any and every opportunity to be with the people you love.  Drive by to just say 'hi'.  Give them a little something to tell them you're thinking of them.


Tell people how much they mean to you.

Thursday afternoon, as I was sitting at the hospital with my Grandma, she told me things she'd never said before; and things I needed to hear.  She told me that she's always felt, no matter what the circumstances were, whether it be my childhood 'situations' or the issues that I've had in my adult life, that I've always handled things so well.  Exemplary.  Above Par.  And she was proud.

I needed to hear that.  I knew she loved me, but I needed to hear that she was proud of me, despite some of the mistakes I'd made.

She never judged.

When she started saying the things she did that day, I knew she was closing the book of her life.  Saying the things she needed to say and leaving her last bit of peace and acceptance for my heart to hold onto.

She was scheduled for her bypass surgery this Thursday; which was going to be a risky procedure.

She visited with my Grandpa on Saturday morning and early afternoon.  After my mom went to pick my Grandpa up to take him home for the day, Grandma called her sister.  The one she talked to every single day. 

After she finished the call with her sister, she went downhill.  Within about 15 minutes, she was gone.

Quick.

Easy.

Without Suffering.

Without any of her loved ones present to witness what would be the last minutes of her life.

That's exactly how she would've wanted to go.

I'm so thankful for the hours I spent with Grandma in the three days before she passed.  The demands of life can often get in the way, but this was an opportunity that could've easily been passed and never replaced.  There are no words that can express my gratitude to my boss and employer for understanding that family comes first, no matter what.

Undoubtedly, life will resume and go back to the way it used to be.  We'll establish a new norm that doesn't include Grandma driving her maroon buick around the corner and  turning into my driveway to deliver bags of assorted candies to my kids.  Those will be the moments I miss her most.

My life isn't poorer now that she's gone, but rather richer not only because I loved her but because she loved me.