Holiday Insanity

Tis the Season, right?

In the spirit of Christmas insanity, I'd like to share a few of my ... "issues".

By issues, I mean rather insignificant things that may or may not cause others to think I am a bit insane, crazy, unstable or just generally obnoxious.

We all have them, right?  (please say yes!) ... those ridiculous triggers that cause us to have an increased pulse rate and blood pressure. 

So here goes...

1.) If I have too many thoughts to organize in an email, I have to number them.  If I've ever emailed you about more than 3 topics, chances are... I've numbered my thoughts.  Rest assured, it's not only for your benefit, but mine as well.  There is some weird thing in my head that causes me to do that.  I believe it's because, in normal writing, you separate your thoughts by paragraphs.  When I'm writing an email that has EXTREMELY varying topics, I cannot write appropriate lead and ending sentences to guide my paragraphs to flow smoothly.  With that being said, I now feel challenged to do so.  If you'd like to receive what will inevitably turn out to be an amusing email with transition and segway sentences that are forced and uncomfortable, shoot me a personal email on a variety of subjects and I'll respond.  Or, just wait for me to email you someday about random things and i'll try to remember. Either way, I have issues with writing and thought organization.

2.) When it comes to wrapping gifts, whether it be Christmas, Birthday, Mother's Day, etc... I prefer to wrap gifts in boxes instead of gift bags.  Gift bags are far easier, but I think a lot of people deep down really want to open wrapping paper presents.  So, I try to accomodate.  My issues come in to play with the way I wrap gifts.  So, my boxed gifts cannot have seams in the paper anywhere but the ends.  There is a certain method to wrapping gifts where there is no seam and the paper meets perfectly at the edge of the box.  It will drive me literally insane to even try to wrap a gift without following the specified method.  And the sad thing, literally no one notices my wrapping except me.  No one cares!!

3.) Color Coordination.  My Christmas trees have been color coordinated for as long as I can remember.  Nothing against people who have meaningful ornaments that make their tree special, honestly - i love those kinds of trees.  But my trees, have to match from top to bottom.  It is stupid!!  And the wrapping paper under each tree also has to match.  The front living room tree has gifts for people that are not our family.  They are wrapped in red/white/black to match that tree.  The Family Room tree is for gifts for my immediate family and they are wrapped in more teals, pinks, blues, purples, etc to match the tree in that room.  I cannot even begin to process how I would feel if a red gift showed up under the back room tree.  I get nervous even thinking about it.

4.) Personal Space.  There is about a 5 foot invisible circle that surrounds me at all times.  I cannot stand when people invade my personal space for more than a few seconds (hug, kiss, etc) unless I initiate that contact.  Talking right in my face?  OMG.  BONKERS.  Standing too close, or trying to stand in that bubble?  No.  Step Back 'foo.  Breathing on me, over me, or too close to me?  AHHHHH! I cannot handle it!  No idea why, but there is a bubble and y'all better not pop it! 

5.) Food and Clothing Textures.  Corduroy and Velvet... YUCK.  I cannot .... literally cannot handle touching it.  I have no idea why, but it gives me the shivers.  Eww.  No.  As far as food textures, I don't like anything slimy.  Not a huge fan of Yogurt, Escargot, etc - because they are too slimy.  Squid Jerky?  Yea, not for me.  I'm sure there are a myriad of other things that i cannot handle, but those are the first that come to mind.


And I think that's it for now.  If i think of some more issues that I have, I'll be sure to let you know.  I think it's only fair that as my dearest friends and blog readers, you should be warned.

...'tis the Season, eh?