D-E-F-E-N-S-E

Whether or not I'm sitting here with a preventable stomach ache from eating 2 bowls of Apple Salad this morning is really not important.  What is important is that through this experience, I had an epiphany.

One of my favorite things... ok, maybe it's not one of my favorite things, because I have many other things that are far more enjoyable than what i'm about to talk about - so let me restate...

I get a great deal of pleasure from watching myself and others go through the motions of 'defending' themselves.  And this could be defending themselves against anything.  So, keep your mind broad as you read through this.

It's almost as if it goes in slow motion. 

I'm going to look at this from a very basic and broad perspective.

Step 1: Person A does something wrong or could have used better judgement.

Step 2: Person A realizes their wrong-doing/lack of judgement and/or Person B points out Person A's failure.

Step 3: Person A begins to rationalize in their head why they did whatever it was. 

Step 4: Person A begins to state their case to either themselves or Person B.


I think I find it so wildly amusing because I am uber guilty of doing it... all the time.  Let me give you an example from, well - about 15 minutes ago.

Step 1: I decided to eat a bowl of Apple Salad.  I grabbed a small bowl (picture a small sour cream container that i've washed out) and proceeded to fill it to the point where it was about to spill over with the infamous Apple Salad that I made Sunday.  Why the small bowl?  Well obviously because I've identified that I have a bit of an obsession a problem with over eating when it comes to salad.  So, I finish my first bowl in an amount of time that is not your business fast.  At which point, I decide that I am still hungry.  And what better timing than to go on ahead and fill up to the point where it was about to spill over that same petite sour cream bowl with more Apple Salad.  Although my consumption speed was slightly slower than the previous bowl, I'm pretty sure I cleaned both bowls out in about 8 minutes total.  And yes, I'm pathetically serious.  If pathetically isn't a word, it most certainly is now.

Step 2: My stomach begins to hurt.  Just moments from taking the bowl into the kitchen to the sink.  Perhaps I shouldn't have ate all that Apple Salad just now.


Step 3:  Unfortunately because of the stomach issues, the bowl has yet to make it to the sink.  Suprised?  I didn't think so.  Why does my stomach hurt?  Well, quite possibly due to the fact that I just scarffed down entirely too much of the creamy-fruity-fluffy mixture.  However... (and this is where the best part of defending myself comes in)... I deserve it!  I mean, really?  Why can't I have 2 extremely generous servings of Apple Salad?  I run my kids everywhere, practices, shopping, etc (don't mention the fact that most of this is driving/sitting on my rear) ... it takes energy to get into the car and drive, right.  And aside from that ... I did attend Zumba on Monday night.  And I'm planning on jogging around the neighborhood on my lunch break today.  So, doesn't that count?  I mean, it's like a balanced budget... what comes in must go out - so i'm burning calories doing Zumba, potentially jogging around the neighborhood block, and running my kids to everywhere they need to go.   But just like the government's balanced budget, there's no extra left over for saving... or in this case ... losing.  So, whyyyy do I continue to wonder why I weigh as much as I do?  Probably because I eat whatever I want and then justify it by working out no more (and quite possibly slightly less) than I ate in the first place.

Step 4: So, at this point, i remind myself that the more I weigh, the more of me there is to love. 


...and that folks - is why I am so amused at people when they defend themselves.