Wash the Windshield? What?!

Oh, dear sweet readers of mine.

The last couple of months have been a whirlwind of drama and issues that have caused me to fall off the beaten path a little bit, perhaps lose my stance and just generally leave me feeling like I have to start from scratch.

But that's not what this blog is about.

While I didn't really want to have to change my entire blog to something out of the ordinary, this blog sets a milestone of sorts.  A foundation.  A new beginning.  Toward a new start.  If you knew me in all four years of French Class, you will remember me as Arlette.  If you did not know me in French Class, from here on out, I will be referring to myself as Arlette.  I don't want this blog to be searchable on the web/using my name.

So, what does "Wash the Windshield" mean?

Other than the fact that I was really struggling with a catchy name that would be discreet and creative, I've been reading a book called "The Windshield is Bigger than the Rearview Mirror."  Basically, it suggests that we need to focus on what lies ahead; through the windshield - rather than what lies behind us; through the rearview mirror.  So, I'm determined this year, to keep my "windshield"  clean.  There will be times when it becomes dirty, smudged, smeared, etc.  But the my goal is to clean it off, let it go and keep pushing forward.

I spent the last few days of 2010 away from home, in another state as sort of a mini-getaway for myself.  No kids, No house, No work, etc.

And it was nice.

It wasn't nice as in, I sat in a padded room and really reviewed my pure existence; but rather that it gave me a chance to "detox" from the drama and issues, relax and think a lot about Arlette.

It also gave me a chance to think about my barrings and my focus for the new year.  As I said in a previous blog, I didn't really have any goals in 2010, other than to just keep on keepin' on.  And to be honest, i haven't defined any major goals for 2011 just yet...

however...

While I was on the airplane for a few hours, I found an area of one of my books that helped me start thinking about goal setting and not becoming so overwhelmed with life.

The book suggested that I first establish my "Priorities".  And it really helped me to define my priorities.  It said that I should first decide what it is that only Arlette can do, that no one else can.  While Arlette can do many things, it is necessary to determine what things in the world ONLY Arlette can do.

So, I decided this:

1.) Arlette is the only person in the world that is responsible for her relationship with God.  She must do everything she can to grow that relationship with God in the ways she desires.

2.) Arlette is the only person in the world responsible for who she is.  She must do whatever needs to be done to help her be the person she wants to be.

3.) Arlette is the only person in the world that can be a mother to "little man" and "darling diva".  She must do everything in her power to give them the love and support that only a mother can do.

4.) Arlette is responsible for maintaining and providing for her home both emotionally and financially.  She must make decisions in her life that will benefit the overall needs of the home itself and those within in.


And those things, my friends ... are my Priorities.  Those are things that ONLY Arlette can do. 

Now, what does this all mean?  If someone, something, or a decision needs to be made, i need to train myself to first ask,

"Can someone else do it?" 

For instance, a friend might need me to babysit her child during my normal work hours.

"Can someone else do it?"  Well, obviously - yes.

The second question -

"Will it interfere with any of my priorities?"  Unforutnately, yes.  While it may seem minor, it would potentially interfere with me providing financially for my home.  If i don't get my work done because i'm helping someone else, and I lose my job.... obviously all of my priorities are impacted.

So my answer to the quesiton my friend asked would have to be "no."

No matter how much I wanted to do it.

This past weekend is a perfect example of an opportunity where I was able to say "yes":

I flew back into town on Friday (New Year's Eve) and was asked to do a last minute quickie wedding photography session.

"Can someone else do it?"  Yes

"Will it interfere with any of your priorities?"  The answer was actually No!  I didn't have my kids anyway - so i was happy to oblige! 

 I've been tested a lot in the last few days with regards to this exact topic.  Which has given me a huge opportunity to learn from this method.  I love to help people.  Lord knows, I'm a people-approval addict, however I know this behavior is unhealthy and has left me with a lot of negative feelings about people and situations.

No one else can look after my priorities because i'm the only person that can execute against them.  Therefore, I have to make decisions that will either benefit or not hinder those priorities.

I can't tell you how ready I am for a fresh start. 

So Dear 'ol 2011....

BRING IT ON!