#badrocket

I am just now beginning to understand the "hashtag" craze a bit more and while I'm still a bit extremely novice at the whole hashtag purpose and process, I have familiarized myself with it just enough to attempt to "fit in". 

I probably still don't fit in, but I'm trying.

I watched a Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake parody that amused me, and from then on, I've been trying to integrate the word "hashtag" into my vocabulary, when appropriate. 

Most likely, I'm only using it inappropriately.

But A for effort, right?

Most people know my dog Rocket from facebook, so I felt that it was only fitting to re-commence my blog with a little bit of #hashtag humor regarding Rocket.

If I were to hashtag all the "thoughts" associated with Rocket, it would be as follows:

#badrocket
#ijumpedthefenceandimnotleaving
#iamtheboss
#expensivestraydog
#ilovetobitelahrsface
#purebredblacklab
#wannabe
#ilovesleepinginakingsizedbed
#babes
#emptysuitcase
#ilovetoswim
#youcantcatchme
#badlahrs
#pumpingiron
#operationfreerocket
#nicetryfools
#iloveplaycare
#thanksforthedoggiedoor
#orangecollar

Expansion

While my waistline is rapidly expanding, thanks to a 2 pound little hunk of man growing inside me, my pride continues to shrink as I'm spending my first full day "unemployed".

I've spent the day doing laundry, updating my resume and applying for some jobs; we'll see what comes of it all.  At the least, I'll have clean clothes (most of which barely fit).

I'm always amazed at the gift of 'purpose' in everything that happens.  Less than a month ago, I turned in a 16 or so page paper about gender roles of women and how they are linked to success within the United States for my Sociology class.  2 weeks after receiving an A+ on my paper for sociological perspective and good argument, I get notification of workforce reduction. 

Humbling? 

Quite so.

You see, my paper focused on comparing the United States culture to the Japanese culture.  Through the research on this paper, I learned a great deal of information about women's gender roles in other societies and found that in the United States, things are very different. 

Not necessarily WRONG, just different.

..but that doesn't mean that it's right either.

I'm very guilty of being the "typical" or "stereotypical" woman in the United States; where my success is based upon my title and ability to provide.  In many other cultures, women find a great deal of success in just raising a happy and healthy home.  The sad reality, at least for me through this experience, is that without a job, a title and a paycheck, I feel my worth is minimal.  While, my extremely supportive husband that I did nothing to deserve, continues to encourage me in staying at home and caring for our family; more specifically for the new little person that we will have in just a few months. 

But for some reason, society has groomed me to think that isn't enough for me.

I have a great deal of growing to do through this experience.  And I know that it has happened at the exact moment in time that it was supposed to; a turning point in my life where I'm just a handful of classes away from finishing my Bachelor's, am no longer a single mom and am getting ready for the next phase of my life which includes some soul searching to figure out what REALLY makes me fulfilled.

Deep down, I know that HP did me a huge favor.  It's just the in between time that I'm really struggling with.  I don't have a plan.  I don't even have an idea of how to get to a plan.  I have a lot of different "passions" or things I'd love to do with my life, but not exactly sure where to pick up and head with those. 

I'm not typically the type to embrace change, but am being forced to do so.  Perhaps it's time. 
 
Instead of focusing on the negative aspects that society (and myself) have attached to the "unemployed" label, my goal this week is to find value in this time where I am not working; whether it be through making changes at home (cleaning, organizing), spending much needed quality time with my children, or educating myself on the next steps and how to move forward.

Here's to my expansion project; both in my midsection as well as my mind.

World Peace

I'm a lover of all things hypothetical.

Especially a good plan.  A hypothetical plan that is; one that would probably never come to fruition, but the more you talk about it, the more it becomes somewhat believable and turns into a real notion of action.

So, sometimes I have ADD.  I like to blame my son's lack of focus on his dad (aren't all things perfect from me?) ... however the reality is ... i get bored really easily.

Even a 2 hour flight is just too much for me to handle.  I need to be on the move.

So, on the way to our honeymoon, I spent the entire boring flight coming up with a hypothetical plan that I'm pretty sure made Joseph want to run away marry me all over again.

I decided that I have a plan for world peace.

Yes, world peace.

And i'm pretty sure, i can put this into action.  At least that's what I believed during our flight that day.

Grab a drink, maybe a snack, put your work email away and find some rubber rain boots; it's about to get deep.

So, the Middle East struggles financially in some countries; and after being in constant turmoil with other countries, I can undersatnd why.

..But can't we all get along?

So, I'm going to travel (yes me, because i am of the highest authority and education to do so) over to the Middle East and hold a conference about how to get to the "world peace" spot. 

Many of them may not believe in Jesus, and that's fine... but I'm going to have a little "come to Jesus Allah" talk with them nonetheless.

I think we can promote world peace by increasing historical awareness in the middle east and promoting tourism.

Yes tourism.

Aren't you all itching to go tour the middle east, specifically Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, etc? 
 
Well, you should be.

I mean, you can visit ancient cities that have biblical connection, see the hole where Saddam was found, take a tour of Osama bin Laden's compound, enjoy the heat without fear of a shark attack in the ocean.

Yes, I just said that.

The opportunities are endless.

All of the palaces and castles or homes or whatever that rich leaders lived in can be converted into hotels.

I know you want to stay at the Hotel D'Hussein.

And seriously, aren't you dying to have your passport stamped "baghdad"?!

admit it.

So, here's where the plan really comes close to home, literally.

Indy has a nice new airport with a customs area downstairs.  We are fully equipped to maximize the title of Indianapolis International Airport.

(Yes, I'm about to 'go there')...

With maximization comes jobs.  I mean, I could hire about 5 people to 'man' the customs counter starting out.  Granted, after my plan takes off, i'd be hiring hundreds of TSA officials to handle the influx of travelers through IND, however for now, this will create some jobs. 

We will offer a direct flight from Indy to Baghdad.

I know you are all extremely excited to hop on this flight to Baghdad.   Doesn't that flight just literally sound "badass".

Kinda like, "oh, i'll be landing in LAX".  I just love the sound of that. 

..now you can say "I should land in Baghdad around 1pm local time".

On the returning flight from Baghdad to Indy, you'll be given a free shirt that simply says "Baghdaddy".

Why?  I don't know, i just think we need a group of people walking around our country wearing shirts that say 'baghdaddy'. 

Maybe not.

So, anyway - how will this promote world peace?

Well, all these anxious travelers will pass through Indy and connect for their flight to Baghdad and be prepared to spend money, sport happy faces the entire time they are touring this area and spend money in the Middle East. 

And because I know my come to allah/Jesus talk will be effective, there will be no more anger/angst/hate toward the US and they will use all of our money from tourism to line the streets with flowers and trees.

Ok, maybe those things won't grow in the desert, but still.

Long story short, this is my plan. 

Although I know you want to steal the plan, you cannot.  You can only join in and help me promote world peace.

...kinda.

Security Detail

When I was younger, I dreamed of a huge wedding with 8 bridesmaids and all the tiny details that would make my special day absolutely perfect.

Fast forward a couple of decades and I found myself wanting something very simple but elegant, personal  but not over-the-top.  Funny how time changes people.  I wanted to be surrounded by our closest friends and family and make the day memorable  but not so crazy that I couldn't remember anything.


I had to make the hard decision early on that we would not have a wedding party.  And honestly, I don't regret that decision.

There's no way I could've chosen between all of my dearest friends, who I would want standing up with me on my big day.  And luckily, everyone understood.  Despite the fact that I didn't have an official wedding party, the 80's Ladies most certainly jumped in and made my day so special, that I am beyond the resources to adequately thank them.

The night before the wedding, several of the ladies came to rehearsal and helped me decorate and get everything in order.  After we left the country club, we headed to eat at Olive Garden and then to Kohls because Allison and Lindsey decided that, since they had been given the extremely important job of opening the doors for the bride... they should coordinate and wear black dresses.

Thank Goodness for the small details.

So, we walked around kohls with Bekah, like the role models she doesn't need in her life at 32 years old acting like teenagers...

Lindsey and Allison obtained matching black dresses and we were on our way to my house for our sleep over.

The next morning, we ate breakfast and arrived to the country club at about 9:30 am to begin the festivities.   Lindsey, Allison and my wife knew that I was NOT wanting anyone to see me prior to the wedding, so they quickly became my "security detail". 

...and what a marvelous job they did :)

Jenny came with lunch sandwiches and her daughter to play with Bekah while we all got ready, which was so nice. 

As the day quickly progressed, I got dressed, took some pictures and got ready to walk down the aisle and make it official!

We laughed throughout the day that, "Security Detail" will be the new 'bridesmaids" at weddings because honestly, it's awesome and a lot less stress for the entire wedding party. 

Well, at least I think so.

Many times throughout the morning and early afternoon, in the locker room of the country club, I looked around, overwhelmed by the amount of support my friends were showing me.   My goodness, what did I do to deserve such great people?

There was a time in my life when my high school friends were off doing their own thing, finishing school, moving on with their lives, while I was busy being a mother.  At some point, we all reconnected and I am BEYOND thankful that they were all there for my wedding day.  Had I gotten married years earlier, the experience I shared with these dear ladies would've have happened, and so, for all the years i waited impatiently... I am humbled.  And honored to have had the opportunity to share my day with the 80's Ladies.


*****
 
I heard Celine Dion's "Because You Loved Me"  from the kitchen, where I was waiting for my queue to enter the holding room.  I knew our Mothers were on their way down the aisle when that began to play. 

Shortly after, Canon in D started to play, and our children, one by one, walked to their seats in the front row of the room.

The doors shut behind Bekah and there I stood....
...on the other side of a set of mirrored glass doors, staring at a woman with curled brown hair, a cream dress, diamond headband and veil.

It was the day she'd dreamed of since she was a little girl.  The day that, for many years she thought would never come.

... the music began to escalate tempo, the high point of the song came...

... the doors opened ...

and there at the end of the aisle, stood my 'dream come true'.

Everything I'd ever wanted my entire life was for someone to love me forever; and there he was. 

My world stopped spinning. 

Or maybe it was spinning faster.

All I know is that, in that moment, it was he and I ... until the end of time.


...and finally, my prayers were answered.

The Best Gift

It's been 9 months since I had a chance to sit and talk with my Grandma.  And although I've gotten better about dealing with it, it still isn't easy.

My birthday was hard.  The week leading up to it, I was really struggling, anticipating my birthday and thinking back on how my mom, just 32 years prior spent that week at home with her mom, my grandma, preparing for my birth.

I can only imagine how my Grandma felt that week, "being there" for my young mom waiting for her to give birth to a child that wasn't planned and didn't really "have" a dad.

Then, I guess a big storm came, trees were down everywhere, lightening, thunder, and my mom and Grandma driving to the hospital in the wee-hours of the morning on August 12th as I made my way into this world.  If you would've heard my Grandma tell the story, you'd realize how much she loved me even before I was born, and despite the circumstances.  I am so thankful that she was there for my mom during that time; and supported her no matter what.

Through that situation, my Grandma's first grandchild was born, and what would turn out to be her only granddaughter.  A little girl that inherited her olive skin tone, green eyes, sometimes crazy attitude and love of all things creative.

So, realizing that I wouldn't get a birthday card from her this year was really hard.

And I hadn't said anything to anyone about it, because quite frankly let's be honest... it's been almost a year, I should probably be over it by now.

***

Rewind to just after Spring Break.

I like  to keep my Grandma's grave "decorated" because I know that's what she would love.  She'd tell me that I don't have to do it, I have a family to take care of ,etc etc.  But then, when I show up with something new she'd say "oh Ginnnn-nnny... that's purrrrdy!"

So, I do it.

I'd taken some flowers out there for Mother's Day, and found a nice little blue (her birthstone) solar ball to hang from the Shepherd's hook and a nice solar cardinal bird to stick in the ground.  She loved birds, so on her funeral stuff, we had cardinals.  Sometimes, I see a cardinal in the backyard and i swear it's her.

About 2 weeks after I took the solar stuff out there, someone stole it. 

I was so upset.

I decided I wasn't going to take another one out there because it was kinda pricey, and ... judging by the fact that my Grandma KNEW who did it... I'm pretty sure she'll take care of getting even.

Although on second thought, everything is roses and rainbows in heaven, so maybe she won't.

But either way, Grandma knew who did that.

So, I just let it go.  I drove around the houses nearby where the cemetary is and didn't see it, so that was the end of the solar ball.

Fast forward to my birthday gift from Joe.

Apparently, he'd been struggling with what to get me, despite my direction for him to not purchase me anything.  We'd driven separately to dinner, so when I got back home, on the fireplace was a blue gazing solar ball and a little red cardinal.

Fighting back the tears was impossible.  I tried, and gave up.

What a thoughtful thing for him to get me.  He told me we could find a special place in the yard to put the stuff that would remind me of my Grandma, and I wouldn't have to worry about it getting stolen.

Despite the fact that we had a rough week last week... and will undoubtedly have rough weeks in the future, that simple birthday gesture made me realize how much he does care about me.  Although he didn't know how much i was struggling with not having my Grandma for my birthday this year, he knows how much I miss her and was so thankful for his gift. 

What a special first birthday without her here.

My Birthday Weekend

I had a fantastic birthday weekend... complete with some really creative gifts, relaxation and fun.

Friday night, Joseph took me out to dinner at Benihana, which was super yummy!  They sang me a birthday song and then required me to stand up and dance while they sang the Japanese Happy Song.    After that, they took a fun picture of us and brought it back framed for us to take home!  It was actually a decent picture, so that was great!

After dinner, we walked around Keystone mall to burn off some of the calories from the plethora of food we had consumed prior.

Saturday, my mom wanted to take me out for a few hours, which was a really nice opportunity to hang out with my mom, just the two of us.  We got a manicure, pedicure then went to lunch.  We had a really nice time together.  I should probably make a mental note to do that more often.

Saturday afternoon, Joe and I decided to run around to some more Goodwill's looking for some last minute candle stick holders.  We scored a total of 6 from 2 local Goodwill's.  We also bought some spray paint so I could see what they would look like.  

Other than the fact that all of my candleholders look similar to that of a shrine in the garage, I'm getting super excited about it!  They look great, and I think they will be a really nice piece of decor at the wedding.  

As we were driving around shopping, we decided to stop at this random store called Garden Ridge in Noblesville.  If you're my friend on facebook, you will already know that I have no idea how i lived without that store.  

No idea.

I don't like the "unknown" so i had a really hard time processing what this store was.  But the deeper I got within the store, the more excited I became.  It was just the coolest place!

And... as a HUGE win, i found the metal birdcage decoration I'd been searching for over the last month or so!  And it was only $15!  SCORE!!!

Sunday, we got up early and headed to church.  After church, we came home, did some house/yard work and then went to pick up the kids.  It was a really, really nice birthday weekend.

The Consultant... The Lawyer... The Mom... The Lost Girl

I've reached a point in my educational "career" where I have to decide what I want to be when I grow up.  


When I went back to school, i started with a General Studies program so I could get most of my core classes out of the way and not have to commit to anything.  


Then, I finished that.


So, I decided to get a Business Foundations Certificate (another piece of wallpaper).  And this December, I will have finished that too.


I seriously need to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.


I've tossed around all kinds of ideas for my future career.  I've asked myself the standard questions:


What do I enjoy?


Well, I enjoy working independently, I enjoy leading projects to completion, I enjoy seeing results. 

I enjoy working with people, Lean Six Sigma concepts applied to anything as well as the ever changing medical field.


I enjoy criminal law, marketing and helping others.


I don't want a business degree, because i feel like everyone has one.


I'd love to be a lawyer, but i don't want to take another 120 ish credit hours and then lose a case.  oh, that would kill my pride.


I'd love to be an OB/GYN as I love the medical field and helping people, however.. again - I'm not interested in being in school for the next 40 years either.


Seriously, I have to decide!!!


I have another blog I'm going to write sometime about the JCPenney pricing structure and why I think they should've consulted me.


Which makes me think... maybe I should be an independent consultant.


But how do you do that?



Bah humbug.  Any suggestions?